You know what is awesome?Baby food.Baby food is easy, peasy, rice and cheesey, or at least it was with my little E. Sit him in the high chair, shovel in some organic puree and ten minutes later we're off to play!Then we started solid food. Ohh, boy....more
So on Friday I peed on my very first stick ever! Super exciting, I know. For some reason I had it in my head that I was supposed to do it first thing in the morning, like a pregnancy test. So I blearily stumbled to the bathroom first thing, and after a curse word-filled fight with the box and the test stick, I did it. Wrong. I put the damn stick in backwards. Note to self: next time, read instructions FIRST, then take test.So I've been POAS (correctly) every day since then. Today is actually day 14 of my cycle, so now is when I start to get really nervous....more
Well, here it is, folks. The last birth control pill I will take in a very, very long time. Maybe ever. Looks pretty innocent, doesn't it? One little tiny pill that has been (theoretically) preventing me from getting pregnant for years and years. Last Sunday was the first night in almost eight years that I didn't take a pill....more
It's 6 p.m., my meeting has ended wonderfully early and the one and only thing on my mind is a cup of (skinny, decaf) coffee. I pull through the drive-through at S.tarbucks, order my caramel macchiato, and wait. I know it takes time to make a cup o' joe, so after some in-car gymnastics to reach the book bag stashed behind my seat, I pull out a fertility book, Making Babies, and start flipping through the vitamins and minerals section....more
It shouldn't be surprising to most that I haven't been sleeping well since this high FSH drama first started on February 18. I suffer from insomnia off and on, but this round has been worse than usual. Usually I struggle with falling asleep but am fine once I finally conk out.
Now I have both - problems falling asleep and problems waking up during the night. A lot.
I have spent so many night tossing and turning, trying to medicate or meditate myself to sleep. Trying to still my racing mind and slow my pounding heartbeat....more
I'm going to just come right on out and say it, folks. I'm overweight.There it is, in all its plus-sized glory. I've always been overweight (no, not obese) and have struggled my whole life with finding a. a weight that makes me feel comfortable with myself and b. ways to learn to love myself that have nothing to so with weight.That being said, when we had our meeting with out OBGYN a couple of weeks ago, I asked if losing some weight could help me in regards to future infertility treatments. Remember, my first appointment with the RE isn't until June 16....more
We had the first appointment of the day. The waiting room was full of pregnant women, happy couples and moms with young kids. Mr. M. sat beside me and I found my heart breaking a little that we weren't here for a joyful reason.
We were led to the exam room at about 9:30. I sat on the uncomfortable exam table while Mr. M. sat in the one extra chair, looking uncomfortable and nervous in his dressy work clothes. We waited. And waited. And waited some more. At first we made small talk. At one point he came over to rub my back and hold my hand....more
I return to my desk after helping a guest and see a missed call on my phone. Damn, it was the nurse from my OBGYN. She tried to call me with my lab results on Thursday and I missed the call. I called her back, but as of Monday morning she still hadn't returned the message....more
From my journal:
Going for my second blood test in a matter of hours. I've been so busy today that I haven't really had time to worry or think about it.
Until now. It just hit me like a ton of bricks in my pizza-filled stomach, and now I'm terrified. Pulse racing and sick with dread.
Please be better. Please, please be lower. Dear God, please get me below a 12. I don't deserve this. I don't deserve to have to go through this.
I deserve children....more
My day literally, LITERALLY started out with a toilet shower. After taking a sick day yesterday, I stumbled into work bleary-eyed and already hating the world. At 8:30 I headed to the bathroom. After finishing my "business" I stood up and the automatic toilet flusher thing went off.
And fired a huge spray of water up and out from the pipes at the top of the toilet....more
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