I still remember my first patient. I’ll call her Marjorie. I was a
senior in nursing school and the registered nurse I shadowed assigned
me to her regularly.
It was around this time that nursing students began focusing on an
area of specialty. Without a doubt, I already knew what areas
interested me: geriatrics and neonatology. Not sure why, but I found
the polar ends of the spectrum fascinating. And after meeting
Marjorie, I discovered part of the reason why.
The air outside is still. Not a single cloud hangs above in the dusky sky.
My right hand grips the steering wheel at 12 o’clock, navigating the car on autopilot.
The world outside passes at 30 mph, but it seems quiet, almost
still. But inside my head, thoughts race. Turning over and over,
faster than the tread on the tires. Every rumination spins quickly,
If only I could brake and slow them down.
“Mommy, can I go over dere?” my daughter yells from the backseat. Momentarily yanking me from my stupor.
On- Off- On- Off- On- Off….AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
And the experimentation continues. That seems to be the ongoing theme these days. My daughter has managed to find every possible light switch in the house that she can pull up, stand on a chair, or scale a wall to get to. I read somewhere that this is normal behavior for a toddler, so I’m biting my tongue (hard) as I try my best not to lapse into a seizure here.
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