Lotus Carroll

I'm a thirty-something woman, wife to a touring guitar player and mother to a little boy. I have a BA and MA in Psychology, as well as experience in Teaching, Sales, & Management. I enjoy photography, reading/writing, cooking, nature, gardening and fitness. I rely on humor as a coping mechanism and source of entertainment and consider myself good at both understanding and teaching others. I have genuine interest in people, and believe that good will, humanity, and a willingness to seek answers are fundamental to happiness. And I think bewbs are hot. PS: I'm with Coco!

Scenes From an Elementary School Lunchroom

At first I think that surely I can't remember something from such a long time ago. I mean, if I were trying to call on a specific, dramatic memory, I'd have more confidence in my ability, but this? I'm doubting I'll reel in anything of describable value when I cast my line into what have become the murky and age-muddled waters of my memory. ...more

I felt like I was there in that lunchroom with you. This was a great post, congrats on ...more

The Not-Good-Enough Mother

I used to think that my intense desire to have children, to be a mother, was enough. It’s not. You have to have more than desire. You have to be more than needy. I face a truth over and over again: I am not a good-enough mother. It’s in the details. I am not good enough in Situation A with Process B. I am not good enough at modeling Behavior XYZ. I do not respond to Tantrum of Intensity #524 with the proper level of Calming Voice Version #683. It’s in the Overall. Good Mother = Someone Else. Me = Poser....more

i will never be good enough. i cheated on my husband. I proved i'm human and weak. I will never ...more

Falling Happens, But Jumping Takes Courage

I have written in the past about how I truly enjoy spending time alone. This is not to say that I don’t enjoy the company of others, or that I don’t have genuine interest in people. I thoroughly enjoy time with friends and acquaintances alike, and I’d say that other human beings interest me more than almost anything else. ...more

Wow!  what honesty... you have spoke my truth better than I ever could...

and I ...more

My Child Wouldn't Nap: The Day I Learned Perspective

John is gone and has been for weeks; he won’t be home still for some time. It’s okay. I miss him and Braden misses him, but the truth is that we’re used to him being away a lot. We have a rhythm we get into while he’s away....more

Awww, sweetness. ♥