Jen

I keep a quirky and (sometimes) humorous blog, mysemitruestory.com, where I amuse, entertain and misinform readers with my occasional flashbacks to the 80s and non-award winning photos.

3.14 Leads To Two Controversies

Today is March 14. As in 3.14. Pi(e) Day. Get it? Pi(e) Day? Pi? Pie? Because pi equals 3.14. Yeah, I don't think it's all that amusing either, but it's morphed into Pie Day and I like pie.My husband loves all kinds of desserts, but I think pie just might be at the top of the pack. He adores any kind of pie: apple, cherry, strawberry, strawberry rhubarb, French silk, shepherd's pie and chicken pot pie. Peach pie is his all time favorite pie. He loves peach pie almost to the point of needing medication....more

The Story of an Elevator Fish: My Kid Picked the Weird Fish

As I mentioned several weeks ago, my daughters each received fish tanks for Christmas. You can read about my oldest daughter's ultra romantic fish couple here. I've held off blogging about my youngest daughter's three fish because, well, they're ... kinda odd. Weird, actually. ...more
No such thing as a "not weird" pet.  ;)  Really, though, I believe this is the first story I've ...more

Starting A Book Club (Sadly, Without Kris Jenner's Help)

My family is pretty cool (obviously) and we have many traditions and legacies that will be handed down for generations to come. (Most notable is the most amazing chocolate chip cookie recipe ever.) (And no. I'm not sharing it.) But this past weekend my aunt and I pulled the trigger on what could become our family's most important legacy: a book club.That's right. I said a book club. Like, an important book club. A non touchy feely, but still life changing book club. A book club of great importance that it should be capitalized. Book. Club....more

And That's Why I Was Shellacking A Potato In My Cul-De-Sac

My sister found the most exquisite potato ever grown. Yes, I know that I tend to speak in hyperbole, but dudes. No joke. This potato is a fine, fine specimen. Naturally, she texted a photo of the potato to me. Naturally, I decided to rush to the grocery store, buy the potato and put several coats of shellac on it to preserve it for generations to come.What? Like you've never had the desire to shellac a potato. Plus, the shellacked spud was going to double as her Christmas gift. Two gifts, one potato....more
Denise Oh Denise! I so needed your expertise on the potato matter before I shellacked it. Resin ...more

Currently I'm ...

… listening to: the new food dehydrator. No, seriously. I am listening to the soothing sounds of eighty peaches shriveling up under the gentle 135 degree air circulating in our new Nesco food dehydrator and jerky maker....more
@Karen Ballum Thanks! That is a fabulous idea!  :)more

Why I Can't Have Philosophical Discussions With My Husband

"How, exactly, did you spray Off! into your own mouth?" my husband asked me.It's a legitimate question, I suppose. Spraying bug spray into anyone's mouth is weird, but in your own mouth? Yeah, that warrants an explanation....more

A Bird Pooping On You Is Good Luck, I Swear

During the school year, I am up and out of bed before my husband every day. During the summer, I am … not. That's not to imply that I sleep away half of the day or anything. I'm simply not out of bed by 6:15 every morning.Over the summer months when I'm still snoozing, my husband makes his breakfast and takes it outside to eat on the porch and enjoy the warm temperatures. Once he's finished eating, he tells me goodbye, I wish him a good day and he leaves for work....more

I Accidentally Ran A 5K

It's true. I accidentally ran a 5K Saturday morning. I say accidentally because I totally didn't mean to do it and 5K because, well, the race was 3.1 miles and that makes it a 5K.When I signed up, it was with the intention of walking the 5K. Not running, walking. Let me be more clear. If I had intended to run the thing, I would have worn a more supportive undergarment.Ahem....more
@Susie the Cartoonist Thanks, Susie! The capes are on order …  :)more

Guess What's Worse Than Walking Into Barnes & Noble Wearing Only A Swim Suit?

I'm no stranger to the public pool. Every year I buy season passes for my daughters and myself. They love the water slides, lazy river and the fact that on any given day at least one of their friends is at the local pool.Me? I'm strictly there to lay by the pool in a white plastic lounge chair. Sometimes I just lay there like a slug. Other times I read a book. I used to people watch, but you stare too long at a large woman in a small bikini and, well … the aftermath? It's not pretty....more

How An Interview With My Husband Led To A Visit To The World's Largest Wind Chime (Score!)

 It is a five hour non-stop drive between my house and St. Louis. Ha. A non-stop drive. Like that's ever gonna happen. Last week, my kids were in the backseat, metaphorically thumbing their noses at my good old fashioned family road trip by using any available electronic device they could find on our drive back home from our mini-vacation....more