semicharmedwife : MyBlogHer Profile

I’ve officially reached “that age”. Pretty much every conversation I have with my girlfriends these days devolves into talk of babies–whether we want them, when to have them, how many to have, how to raise them, etc.. Ah, the joys of aging. Having kids isn’t an “if” for me–my husband and I know that we want children… someday. We’re just not sure when that someday will be. We want to be sure to have all of our ducks in a row before we take such a huge step in our lives. That’s the smart way to do things, right?  Read more >

Every year, my family (dad’s side) has a huge July 4th cookout at my parents’ house. The whole family attends, and with seven siblings (who produced 15 grandchildren and 26 great-grandchildren), it’s quite a sizable crowd. There is always great food, fireworks, gallons of beer, a gang of screaming kids, and a lot of laughter. I love these gatherings, but they have a tendency to press my mental rewind button and transport me back in time to the attitudes and beliefs of my childhood–for better or for worse. Most of our deep-seated, unconscious beliefs about the way the world works are internalized early in childhood. Unfortunately, these beliefs often reflect the fears and anxieties of our parents. (This is the thing that terrifies me the most about having and raising children–that I will pass along my issues like some kind of hereditary disorder.) For example, a single mother whose husband left her during pregnancy may unintentionally pass along to her daughter the belief that men are unreliable and cannot be trusted. As you might imagine, this belief could cause the daughter to have serious difficulties in relationships when she is older. The worst part is that she may not even know why–the belief may be buried so deeply that she isn’t even aware of it.  Read more >