Hangry Momma

You'd probably never know it by looking at me, I'm pretty tall and thin, but if I don't eat every 2-3 hours, I get HANGRY.  Aggravate me while I'm hungry and I'll probably body slam you and chew your legs off....not in a crazy bath salts trip kind of way, but more of a "Hey, now I'm not hungry and you'll think twice before pissing me off when I haven't eaten" kind of way.  If you can't take a joke, please navigate yourself away from this page.  It contains adult content and may offend some readers.  It's for entertainment purposes only.

 

What they don't tell you about being pregnant

Your boobs will grow to be the size of your head.  Not just big, but literally the size of your head.  Barely four months into my pregnancy and my cup already runneth over.  I am spilling out of my C cups and officially just became a D student however; I don’t see that lasting very long.  At some point, I’ll just start duct taping these puppies in place.  I imagine that while maybe more painful, it’s probably a helluva lot cheaper than buying new bras every month.  I was under the impression that there would be t...more
Pee your pants, why yes that's just fabulous.  While pregnant with my son (who it turned out was ...more

So as not to make a liar of myself

I included in my blog description that I may put some recipes on here from time to time.  So, as not to make a liar of myself, you’ll find one that I created below.  My eating habits are generally very healthy, but once the fall weather hits I turn into a comfort food junkie.  In the last month, I’ve made two homemade chicken pot pies, carrot cake with cream cheese frosting, and approximately 30 lbs....more

My Walk-In Horror Story

What started of as a sinus cold last Wednesday, made its way into my chest by Friday.  Saturday morning after a long spell of hacking up neon green phlegm from my lungs, my husband said that I needed to go to the doctor.  Since it was a weekend, we drove together to our local walk-in.  We arrived at twenty past noon.  Thirty minutes into my wait, I get called up to the counter to register for my appointment.  Forty-five minutes into my wait, the doctor came out into the lobby and turned the air conditioning up because she was “hot back there.”  Of course I woul...more
Jennifer Rousseau Cook Regardless if you are 15 or 30 this doctor stepped way over the line, you ...more

My craving of the day...HERMITS!

My craving of the day…HERMITS! No, not those agoraphobic folk that do not leave their homes (not that there’s anything wrong with that), but the delightful molasses bar cookies that just came back into season.  Hallelujah, it’s September!...more

Putting your undies on backwards

I used to think that starting my day by putting my underwear on backwards was a bad omen.  I was destined to have a horrible day.  Now I try and look at it positively.  For a split second, I thought my ass got fat.  Then imagine my relief when I found it was not the case and I had just put my panties on backwards.  Hoorah!...more

Why I Loathe Grocery Shopping

I would rather jam sewing needles under my fingernails than go grocery shopping.  Having to go on a weekend makes me want to off myself.  My biggest pet peeve is the mommies who pull up next to each other side by side in an aisle for chit chat time.   “Oh hey Helen!”“Hey Laura, how are John and the kids?  Nicky get over his chicken pox yet? We should really do a play date soon.” ...more