Suzanne Stauss

Monkey-wrangler, meddler, mender, muller, maker, muser, and friend.

Back To School - For All of Us

We here in Seattle are rugged individualists. We do not start school the day after Labor Day. No sir, we start two days after Labor Day. I secretly believe it is to give the parents an extra day to recover from attending Bumbershoot. Maybe it's to give everyone a chance to get back from their last ditch camping trip of the summer. Or maybe it's to give us this spare day between holiday and routine to speculate and ruminate and drive each other crazy....more

On Being a Tool

If you sent me to my room and told me to get dressed and I walked out with pants on my head, you would think me either insane or five years old. If you asked me to dust the blinds and I went in search of a circular saw, you would lock up the tools, myself included. If you wanted me to make you some tasty guacamole and I reached for the bag of marshmallows to fold into the mashed avocado, you would likely gag and remove me from the kitchen. I clearly could not be trusted....more

An Obvious Thing

We are in flagrant disregard of Duty.It would seem an obvious thing, the sun in summer. There are wild fires, heat waves, people evacuating, sweating. We sit in sweatshirts in the evening and discuss whether or not to build a fire. It would seem an obvious thing, the sun in summer. ...more

Yesterday

Yesterday in my adopted home, this lush and vibrant city that I love, six people were shot and killed. It started yesterday morning when a man walked into a cafe where he was a regular and started shooting people. Then he continued downtown where he shot and killed a woman and stole her car. Police caught up with him across town and then he knelt down and shot himself. It took all day, while the rest of us went about our business, checking occasionally for updates and wondering what all this was about....more

Always Up To Something

For a few weeks when I was three or four, I drove my mom insane trying to pee standing up. I still remember the contortions that took. I would straddle the toilet bowl as best I could with my pudgy little legs and let fly, swiveling my bottom to adjust the stream. It was a messy and frustrating endeavor. I was trying to be like my dad. Thankfully, I discovered pretty quickly that my biology prevented me from emulating him in this aspect. I'm sure my mother was relieved....more

Under Pressure, Vanilla Ice, David Foster Wallace, and Finding Freedom

Thanks to the Hooligan, I listened to Under Pressure about thirty-six times in a row yesterday. Like all good hooligans, he is a huge fan of Queen. When we have to be in the car for a long time, he plays deejay for us. Well, actually it's more like he plays the repeat caller on an all-request radio show and I play deejay....more
 @Vesuvius At Home It is never an easy lesson. I think that might be why I find reminders of it ...more

The Price Is Right

One of my favorite things about staying home sick from school when I was a kid, was watching The Price Is Right. I loved Bob Barker's way with the ladies, I was fascinated by his long skinny microphone, the sets and the prizes mesmerized me. The blinking lights and shining teeth. The "New car!", the dinette set. They were what glamour was made of. I always wanted to do the game with the punch wall....more
 @TangledLou I read your response a few hours ago and I can't stop thinking about it. The word ...more

Buffy and Piaget

My favorite season of Buffy the Vampire Slayer is season six. It is the deepest and the darkest and although it is a silly, fantasy TV show, it explores some very real themes about finding one's way in the world and dealing with loss. There is one glitch in the season, though. Buffy, through a confluence of supernatural events in the previous season has inherited a little sister, Dawn....more
 @@BehavioralChild It makes me do a little happy dance that you are in love with my writing! The ...more

Keeper of Corpses

I've been working on a post about reality, but it will be waiting in the wings as I deal with an actual, nefarious, and unavoidable reality....more
 @@BehavioralChild Oh wow! Thanks! There are about 700 other people nominated, so they are all ...more

Brushes With Fame

On some level, we're all obsessed. It's OK, you can admit it. I can admit it. I saw Denis Leary walking out of a Burger King near my house.I saw Imelda Marcos on the Great Wall of China.I saw Dudley Moore leaving a tube station in London.I stood in front of the most glorious lamb chop sideburns in all the land at an Avett Brothers show.My kids' dentist is a roadie for the Avett Brothers.I see Christopher Walken everywhere. Or maybe it's just my reflection....more