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Hello, I'm tango4two!

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When you can't do it anymore

4/13/09 3:01pm by tango4two
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How this could happen, I don't know.  I know it happened both slowly and in an instant.  I know other people's actions eroded our relationship over time, and it didn't help that we didn't handle it quickly.  I know it is both of our faults and yet neither of ours.  I know I am too tired to go on.  I know I feel too alone and I feel like my fiancee's mother will never allow us to be happy and peaceful.  And I know my fiancee will never walk away from the dysfunctional abuse her mother throws at us.  I know that I don't have the words to even finish this entry.  I just do not have the  Read more >

The issue I pretend is a non-issue

3/14/09 8:50pm by tango4two
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I talked to my mother tonight.  It started out as a normal conversation, but it slowly edged toward discussions of my upbringing.  It's funny how I pretend like my upbringing was okay, the way I apologize for my skewed perception before I tell her how I remember being whipped so damn hard by my father that I was bruised and sometimes bleeding.  I guess I am trying to be gentle with her, gentle because SHE wasn't the one who hurt me.  I carefully tell her I don't blame him, that he was raising me just the way he was raised.  Nevermind that I'm lying, that I believe he should hold himsel  Read more >

York

1/8/09 2:11pm by tango4two
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Tomorrow is the anniversary of York's murder. I cannot explain how I feel each year as this day approaches. His birthday every year is a rough day too, but this day is worse. It is hard to breathe on these days. I have come to the conclusion that I will never have an answer for my questions, the biggest of which is: HOW COULD THIS HAVE HAPPENED?  Read more >

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tango4two
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December 2008
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