How you might be driving yourself crazy

A non-writing writer is a monster courting insanity. – Franz Kafka (Note to Mr. Kafka: I understand today is your birthday. You don’t look a day over … very, extremely dead.) ——- How often do you sit down and try to dissect the core of your being? For me it’s about every five minutes. Yes, I know and I agree: That’s probably excessive. But this is the way my brain works. Always has. ...more

Sex and the Single Momma

Dear Readers: This is another post in my Letters to Louie series, in which I write to the comedian Louis C.K. after having received an unmistakable sign from the Universe that we're supposed to get married. While this letter is meant for Louie, since you’re already here you might as well read it too.Dear Louie,I got laid this weekend.Yes. I. Did....more

An open letter to my future husband: Dear Louis C.K.

Readers: This post is not for you. Sorry....more

The exquisite pain of Boston and Sandy Hook

I needed to get away from the news yesterday. There were some potentially ugly clouds around here, but they looked like they were all talk so I went for a run. Just as I was rounding the last bend on a loop through a pretty, foresty sorta place I like to go, it started to rain.And then I remembered another time that it had started raining on a sunny day when I was running in that exact same spot: Right after Sandy Hook....more

Guess Who's Getting Married? This girl!

Well, peeps, I have an announcement:I'm getting married.I know. Holy shit, right?Listen, no one is more shocked than I am. I wasn't sure this day would come again. I wasn't even sure that I wanted it to come. But I just got the news.The Universe is hurling a husband in my direction as we speak....more

Overachieving mommies: Stop ruining Valentine's Day for the rest of us

Overachieving mommies, I beg you: Hands offa Valentine's Day.Checking Facebook tonight before bed I saw a disturbing number of posts from people who were still up near midnight. Why? Because they were making homemade Valentine's Day cards for their kids' classes. I even read a few posts that mentioned presents for classmates that needed to be wrapped in actual wrapping paper.Ladies, do you realize what you're doing with all that wrapping paper? You're taking an easy holiday and making it a pain in my ass....more

A lame white chick weighs in on Obama and MLK Day

Four Novembers ago, I voted by absentee ballot. I was due to pop out a baby very close to election day and I didn't want to take any chances."I will tell them to turn on the TV in the delivery room if I have to!" I told everyone. "I'm going to watch those election returns even if I have to do it through contractions!"...more

Killing Patty: Why I dumped the nickname I didn't choose ... and how I'm still becoming Tricia

My real estate agent calls me "Tricia."I've never told her to call me that. I always introduce myself as "Trish" and that's also how I sign my name.But she got me thinking about a time years ago when I decided to reclaim my name. You see, for most of my childhood and my teenage years I was "Patty."Good crap, I hated being called that.I didn't start out as Patty. Until the second grade, I was always Patricia at school. I was Trish (or Trishy) at home....more

Single momma dating dilemma: Can you have passion and stability at the same time?

A friend of mine posted this quote on her Facebook page:Unless it's mad, passionate, extraordinary love, it's a waste of your time. There are too many mediocre things in life. Love shouldn't be one of them. (Quoted from Dreams for an Insomniac)I read that and started chuckling. On one hand, I thought F*CK, YES! ...more

A Retroactive Christmas: When the spirit hits too late

This is how Christmas felt this year:...more