Waltzing Matilda and Me

Butler to a little person, I am usually found in the kitchen making toast or in the laundry, washing toasty spew out of something. I'm a stay at home mum and military wife who is quite accomplished at PND and jumping to conclusions. I have surived skin cancer and have the scars to prove it.

For those of you that have skimmed over the first part as reading a whole paragraph is too much here are some dot points about me;

  • I'm 30 something, no really, I can't remember how old I am
  • I haven't shaved my legs since my daughters 12 week check-up, she is now 8 months
  • I wonder where the bejesus goes when it's scarred out of someone
  • Have a pinky toe that sticks out when I walk, even my toes won't assimilate
  • Have a tattoo, no I won't show you where
  • Had a massive crush on Charlie Sheen as a kid, don't judge me
  • Get motion sickness in an elevator
  • Only started blogging for "therapy" as medication made me go blind (true story)
  • Am comfortable in saying that being a mum is harder than I thought and have considered leaving to become "Cindy" the waitress in a nowhere town cafe
  • Have found great support in the writing community and am humbled that people love my blog

So sit back, put your feet on something (no one is watching) and take a moment to be you, not "mummy". Enjoy!

Don't drink the water

The airport run is one of those favours in life you only agree to do for family and very close friends, it's up there with helping someone move, or give birth... The airport run is a logistical fine art, which is why mums excel at it. Some would say it requires military precision. However, those that proclaim this have obviously never worked with the military. Sure, you could leave home around the right time and park on the side of the road, next to a "NO STANDING" sign, praying a cop doesn't drive by, or hope a hooker doesn't ask if you're in fact "looking for a date"....more

Coming out of the closet, literally

As someone suffering a life altering illness you must ask yourself, "when do I go public?". Not in the sense of calling TMZ and arranging to be "papped" leaving some Harley Street medical facility. But when to let those in your life and strangers know that you are "afflicted" with an illness. When your illness presents itself with obvious tell tale signs it kind of takes away that tough conversation you need to have. After all being bald, gaunt and resembling ET on crack is a dead give away that you have cancer....more

Clean-up in aisle 5

While eating my Vegemite on toast this morning, hoping to become a "happy little Vegemite", I was half watching the Today Show and half watching Matilda chew on a block like she was a Rottweiler with a bone. The headline (I say that loosely) for the day was, "zero visibility within Sydney due to fog" for the second day. This is a city that comes to a stand still when it's over 32 degrees, 3 days in a row. That's right people, Australia seems to stop at the outer western suburbs of Sydney....more

Controlled Crying

Before I had a baby I knew as much about "controlled crying" as I did about mining in the Amazon. To me, they both seemed unnecessary and did more damage than good. My impression of "controlled crying" was putting your child into its cot and letting your little darling cry for any given period of time until they either went to sleep or threw up, in which case you would change the sheets and start again. I had heard people say, "the first week is the worst but it gets easier once the child gets use to it"....more