Memoirs Of A BBW

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Lord knows I am not an expert on on relationships or dieting.
But I have had alot of friends ask me to blog about this weight loss journey that I am experiencing.
And i thought I would add a little about my experiences with relationships, men, dating along with some humerious story's. All this will be true not fiction, howver it may sound like something out of a comedy at times and others something out of a drama, LOL.

As most of you know I won a local radio contest weight loss contest...KKRV 97.7,  I heard about it from a girl I worked with.
I sent in a picture along with an essay as to why I would be a good canidate for the contest and why I should be chosen.

I will post my letter on a later blog.

I entered on Tuesday night at 10 PM and they called me next morning at 9 AM, they asked if the could interview me on the radio, I agreed and while we were on the air, Jaxson chose me to be on a team.

The contest consists of weekly weigh ins through the radio station every Fridy, the do a live remote at Golds Gym and weigh you and and talk w/you on the air and announce your progress while talking with you on the air. You are also a member of a team of 3, there are two teams, we compete against each other.

The radio station gives away weekly prizes and they also pay for your membership at Golds Gym and pays your entry into the Golds Gym Challenge.

We weighed in last Friday for the first time since the initial weigh in , I lost 16 lbs. my 29 yr old workout partner who is on my team lost 26 nlbs. Our team is currently ahead by 4 lbs.

I have been a skinny woman living in a BBW body for mny years. Don't get me wrong, I am a very confident BBW, but I also know I need to be healthy and I have come to realize alot of choices I have made regarding the men in my life and relationships have not been healthy for me.

I have always felt the need to be with a man who needs me to take care of him, I was never attracted or interested in a man who I felt didn't need me.

Whenever a man hasdcome into my life who had their shit together and would have been good to me and good for me, I would "ALWAYS" find a reason not to be attracted to them.

A friend said something to me a month or so ago, at first I thought she didn't know what she was talking about and then.....taaaa daaaaa.......she was right.....

I have never allowed the man I would consider to be my "Mr. Right" to get close to me because, I did not feel deep down inside I deserved him..........WOW, hello.........that has been my MO for years now.

As of 2 weeks ago, I felt all of the above and then it was like someone had lifted the fog and I could see everything clear. I had been my own enabler, always taking care of eveyone else, helping complete strangers, always like I was trying to buy their love and their friendship.

I started this journey 2 weeks ago, taking care of myself, finally putting myslef before eveyone else, doing for me, what no one esle could do for me, but me myself. Becoming healthy, loving myself, allowing me to be happy and not feeling the need to continously taking care of some man in my life.

I feel like I have been reborn, I get up at 4:15 AM Mon-Fri and get to the GYM before they open , I work out for an hour and I also work out Saturday and/or Sunday for an hour.

Starting this week I weill also be doing strenghthing 3 nights a week. I have changed my diet completly and i am feeling frickin awesome. I lost 16lbs last week and my goal is to lose 60lbs at the end of the twelve weeks, when the contest ends.

I will every day blog about my diet, my workout, my progress and past experiences that have gone on in my life. I will brutally honest and If there is anything you would like to ask me, please feel free to ask.

I am not blogging this because I think that I am all that, but because I hope there are women out rhere who can maybe learn from my mistakes, cry with me, laugh with me and come along the ride with me and my success.

Until tomorrrow my friends.......

Tam


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