In Memoriam

Goodbye, 2012.  I can't say that I'm really sorry to see you go.  It's been one hell of a year.

I lost my marriage this year.  I lost my home.  Friends disappeared, making me realize just how many were there because they needed me...not the other way around. 

I lost my trust.  From now on, I will have to see actions that prove words.  I lost my sense of stability and safety this year.  Fear is now a constant state.

I lost a parent.  I realize this is an event that comes to all eventually but I was unprepared and still don't think it's sunk all the way in.

I saw a friend go through the worst this world can offer...the loss of a child.  I still stand helpless, not knowing what to do to help. 

There has also been pockets of joy this year.  Friends who stood by me when I couldn't stand on my own.  One who busted her butt ten hours a day to help me get packed.  Another who came after working all day and put in more time helping pack and load.  A friend so true, she came halfway across the country to help me leave.  A friend who flew to see me and surround me with love. 

I fulfilled a lifelong dream this year.  I published, and for one short weekend...actually made it on to  an Amazon bestseller list.  My picture made it in a national magazine.  In January, I'll have a recipe in a nationally distributed cookbook.  This blog made a little bit of money and so did my articles on Examiner.  I'm getting there...slowly but surely.

They say that God doesn't give you more than you can handle.  Dear God...I'm at my limit!  I would love some recovery time before the next test!

May 2013 bring you joy and peace.  I know I'm praying for the same.



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