Men are From Mars, Women are From Earth

When I was fifteen and I started dating my first long-term boyfriend, my mother gave me a copy of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus".  I read the part about men with great curiosity - this explained my father!  My boyfriend at the time happened to have been a very emotional Sicilian football player who never went to a "man cave" as the book describes.  He was big, loud, funny, and loved attention...and I was his princess...and we lived happily until we went away to separate colleges.  

Fast forward to 2014.  I have a lovely husband who does retreat into an emotional cave at times and I behave like a "wave" as the book describes.  This is the dance we do and we've learned to find comfort in it.  Besides my young children, the relationship that I have with my husband of nine years is the most intimate relationship I have with anybody in my life.  I understand him better than anybody in his life.  And still I don't understand him. Does this have anything to do with our different sexes? I couldn't tell you for sure. While he knows me better than anybody else in my life, he is still puzzled by me.  I am in my mid-thirties, I've done a lot of self-reflection, held different jobs, gotten 2 masters degrees, and given birth to 2 children.  I understand myself better now than I ever did and I expect - from what my mother's generation tells me - it is only going to get better.  But will I ever really understand my husband's planet - the man planet? There will always be conondrums that we'll have to explain to each other.  Why doesn't he care about the kids brushing their teeth (because they'll get a brand new adult set eventually, says he)?  Why do I always cry when I watch the movie "Pretty Woman" even though I've seen it a thousand times? He'll never know. Frankly, I'm not sure about that one myself.  Of course, there many much deeper misunderstandings, as well.

The point is that as well as we get to know each other - and we will spend many more years married - there will always be things that we won't understand.  We have to meet each other on different "planets" sometimes and attempt to learn more about the inhabitant of the other planet.  We'll keep each other puzzled a bit, sometimes surprised, sometimes disappointed, and sometimes thrilled at a new discovery.            


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