Men, Women, Selfishness, and Cotton Balls
By janetkay on February 05, 2009
Okay, seriously, what the hell is up with the cotton balls?! I had a meeting in Jefferson City today, where they happen to have a Target and a Kohl's (cue the choir of angels). Get this: Target is also out of cotton balls! Did a plague of locusts destroy our nation's cotton crop?! I read something once where a man was saying he had no idea what women did with so many cotton balls. Trust me, they are a necessity. And apparently a scarce commodity right now.
On my way to my meeting this morning, I was listening to the radio. Plain old ordinary radio, because my work vehicle has a cassette player, and a radio, that's it. However, my XM is currently broken in my own car, so I have been living without for a while anyway (a situation which X promises to remedy for me tomorrow) and let me tell you, I know I only drive 4 miles to work, but regular radio makes me INSANE. Too much talking, commercials, bad news, traffic, blah blah blah. Just play me some damn music already.
But, I digress (Let's all get back on the bus! As a woman at this meeting said she often tells her students when they get off subject.) So, this DJ was reading about this study that was done proving that women are hard to read. I know, it's shocking. Apparently they took video of 20 speed dates, and then they asked both men and women to view the dates and say whether they thought the woman was interested in the man, and vice versa. Turned out that both women and men were quite accurate at judging the men's feelings. And both men and women were completely off base in judging the women's feelings!
So then, of course, a discussion ensued about why this might be. These are the two theories I believe had some merit. 1. Women are taught all our lives that we have to be nice. We don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. So, even if we are not remotely interested in a guy, we'll smile, and say, "It was nice to meet you," etc... 2. If a woman is interested in the man, we don't want to seem too interested, so we'll play it cool. Which you men might interpret as playing games. To that, I say, if you guys were not so into the chase, we wouldn't have to do this.
My point is, I realized that I definitely do number one. ALWAYS. With EVERYBODY. Not so much number two. I swear, somewhere along the line I learned that I must be nice at all costs, and that I am responsible for everyone else's feelings. I would rather have a root canal than hurt someone's feelings. And I can see now where this behavior has probably been confusing for some men I've dated (briefly, since I wasn't interested). And besides the whole men/women thing, it's just not a good habit for my personal well being.
I had a friend who got divorced and proclaimed that from now on she was going to be selfish. And she was. And we, her friends, did not like this behavior. But, now I can see where she was coming from. I think it would benefit me to be at least somewhat more selfish. I need to re-learn this whole my needs vs. your needs concept. So, this is your warning: I am hereby informing you that from now on I am going to be selfish. Okay, maybe just more selfish than I have been in the past. So, don't take it personally if I don't behave exactly the way you think I should, or if I don't do exactly what you want me to do. It's not about you. It's about me.
Now, would somebody mail me some damn cotton balls?