Menopausal and My “Empty Nest” Is Made Full Again!

My “heart’s nest,” which was pretty-near empty for a couple years now, is recently made full again. One-by-one my little chicks had flown the coop, and my heart was rent in two. I was saddened into deep depression. Now, due to unexpected circumstances, some have come home again (with the addition of grandchildren, too). And just as my hubby and I were beginning to get used to our new found freedom—seeing our maturing life through new spectacles—well, here they are!

I’ll admit, at first, I greatly feared for my sanity; I feared I would lose my new found relationship with my husband, my Lancelot Knight. I feared that my now life—being in my menopausal state and all—would somehow be severely affected, and I would become someone really unrecognizable. But I am all right. In fact, I am better than just all right: I am needed once-more, and a new door has opened. I have entered another stage in my life; I am walking in new shoes and wearing a fresh face.

I’ve gone from supporting some great Directors in my jobs, to having no job, to now being a once-again useful mother and grandmother. (Smile!)

Our spacious home—rooms empty of people for a while and noticeably silent throughout—now reverberates with obvious chatter and laughter, with little voices often calling for Grandpa and Bella (pronounced bāya). I didn’t think it could happen again, but my heart is aflutter when I hear my grandsons voices…except when they fight…I then inconspicuously flee! Because when they do fight, it is up to their mom to settle their differences. I make myself scarce and hide-away in my known sanctuary, my room, where I can close the door and write, undisturbed—my happy place.

I will be fifty-five this September, and, without-a-doubt, I have entered into menopause. And in February of this year, 2011, I began documenting and blogging on BlogHer about my difficulties in my change of life, my becoming menopausal. Without-a-doubt my change has not been easy.

The month of December of 2008 saw me fulfill the end of my contract as an Administrative Assistant with my then company, as well as I saw my very last menstrual. Everything changed for me then. With no job opportunities to be had, I lost self-esteem and self-worth. I realize I am not the only one going through this, but this, however, doesn’t lessen the pain of feeling unwanted and useless.

For now, I am enjoying my new role, my new chapter in my life. And I will write about my new adventures in my future blogs.

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