Bobbi Brown to Young Teens: Be Who You Are, and Wear Makeup

Although when I was in HS I wanted no part of it. It did not fit in with my wannabe hippie persona. My mother still remembers how she encouraged me to wear lipstick and I refused.

I've changed. Even on my most casual, writing at home in my yoga pants days, I don a little mascara and lip gloss. It makes me feel good.

I've learned that makeup is there to enhance our beauty, not detract from it, not to mention offer skin protection to the elements. If you look made up, you probably need a lesson from Bobbi Brown.

If you're wearing it for any other reason than you like how you look and feel when you do, you shouldn't be. And that message needs to be conveyed to the young girls who are going to experiment with it whether we want them to or not.

Joanne Tombrakos is a writer, personal coach and corporate expatriate  who blogs her observations on life and work after Corporate America at http://onewomanseye.blogspot.com. Stay tuned for details on the release of her first novel!

The only time I really wore make-up was in college and it was a clinique pore minimizer to cover my acne, which was all over my face. That made me self-conscious. I feel fake when I wear makeup, like I'm trying to be something I'm not. Like I'm hiding something. And I do believe it's a tool of patriarchy -- we have to make ourselves pretty to be liked, to feel good about ourselves, to get men to appreciate us. It's all BS, and when I see women all made up to go to the gym and sweat under all that makeup, I think patriarchy is still at large, defining beauty and us.

Your post was great -- very controlled and well-balanced.

Regards,

Marina DelVecchio

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I like makeup. Mostly. It wasn't until I learned to properly accentuate my eyes that I was able to let go of the teasing from middle and high school regarding my eye shape. As such, I do view makeup as a good things in most circumstances. I wear less makeup than I did in late high school or college. I wear barely any in the summer, but more in the winter. Just how I roll.

Contributing Editor Jenna Hatfield (@FireMom ( http://twitter.com/FireMom )) blogs at Stop, Drop and Blog ( http://stopdropandblog.com ) and The Chronicles of Munchkin Land ( http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com ). She is a freelance writer and newspaper photographer.

I'm of two minds on this one.
Like you, I don't wear much makeup and I have a daughter who will or won't someday...please make it later rather than sooner.
My first thought was why does millionaire Bobbi need to sell more makeup by extending her reach to teens? Doesn't she have enough of a following with women? Next, isn't there enough trouble with self-image and rampant consumerism without adding more, more, more to young girls' lives and making them feel like it's something they NEED?
And then I thought, here in France they take their young daughters to the pharmacy (they sell expensive makeup there) or the department store to educate them on their options, how to use the products, and buy them well-made, age appropriate makeup that starts a lifetime of understanding how to look your best. (Generalization of course, but it is very common here unlike in the US) And I ask myself, isn't that what I've thought would be a good idea to do with my daughter when she's 12 or so? wouldn't I rather show her, buy it for her, and help her do it tastefully? And then, isn't that what Ms Brown's book is aiming to do?

I only hope that if she does wear makeup she will do it tastefully and not go overboard just to be different from me.

Aidan

Well, I've had what I call a love-hate relationship w/ Makeup. Having had a few awful, seemingly debilitating bouts of a skin condition called "Rosacea", it has been a blessing and a curse - my life saver and my arch enemy.

I grew up hearing how pretty my eyes are. Parents asked if I was wearing makeup when I was in the 2nd grade! "Nnno!", I'd say, but was silently proud that they thought they looked made up on their own. That stayed w/ me forever - wanting to be naturally beautiful and not flattered b/c I was wearing color or cover up.

Always doing school plays and continuing to perform after school ended, I've always felt that stage makeup made my skin not breathe. It seemed like a dirty and unsanitary thing to put on my face. I also hated the three times that I can recall right now (there may have been more) where someone said how great I looked w/ the makeup on. I felt like they really thought I looked great...NOW and the 2 of those 3 times I asked if I looked better w/ it on, they said, "Yeah!" and I felt awful about not being naturally pretty in their eyes. Or sad to know that, b/c I didn't plan to wear makeup everyday, they would see me the next day at school w/out it again and think, "Yeah...she definitely looks better w/ makeup on."

I guess I'm also quite lazy b/c I didn't want to be forced into HAVING to wear it everyday, for others. Once, a young man well beyond his years told me that women don't wear makeup for men, they wear it for other women. It's a competition - and at first, I was unnerved by that statement and wanted to get defensive, but I knew he was right! Men don't give a heck about that - whether they're lascivious or thoughtful gentlemen, they're not looking for someone who's wearing makeup.

ANYWAY, when I had those bouts of Rosacea, I couldn't leave my home w/out wanting to hide in a hole, and makeup covered the "ugly" and I could walk outside and go about my day just a little bit easier. However, it also contributed to the skin condition, since it was smothering my skin; even non-oil-based brands.

Finally, since most makeup has ingredients that have since been on the EWG.org "Skin Deep" site for causing a slew of health problems (parabens, phthalates, fragrance...CHEMICALS in your FACE...literally), I have been against the stuff for ages. I have found some mineral based makeup to be very pure and use it sparingly (for shows or if I attend a wedding). I also am constantly touching my eyes/face so any makeup I would wear would be smeared. Lol.

And that's my 22 cents.

I remember it well.

Light blue on the lids, darker blue in the crease and white on the brow bone. A sweep of blue eyeliner on my inner lower rim. Hopefully I didn't poke my eye out in the process.

I thought I looked beautiful. The process is more or less the same thirty years later.

Just not blue.

Alison Golden writes at The Secret Life Of A Warrior Woman ( http://alisongolden.com )

I think this advice is spot on, in every way. I would just emphasize that being authentic and appropriate comes first, and it's hard for people to feel comfortable with their authentic selves if they are wearing any kind of a mask to hide it. Whether that mask is make-up or a marriage or a religion or a..... you name it. It's tough - and certainly don't know how to do it yet - to help someone embrace who they are while simultaneously telling them that it should be different.

And the question of appropriate also matters..... Feeling like you need to be made up to go to the grocery store strikes me as a bit frightening - but then so do the people who go to the grocery store in their jammies.

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AlyssaRoyse.com ( http://www.alyssaroyse.com )

As a makeup artist for over 20 years and owner of Authentic Beauty AND a mother of a 14 year old daughter I have a STRONG opinion about this. I fell in love with makeup when I was 5. I was the biggest tomboy EVER but someone thought makeup was the coolest. I was even thrown out of my 3rd grade class for making over my classmates. LOL What I believe is that your image should be a reflection of your Authentic Self. It's a tool for self-expression. Instead of telling and imposing your point of view on your daughter-take the time to help her develop a strong sense of self. THEN get professional guidance. Even if your daughter wants to wear black eyeliner there is a way to get it to look wearable.
What I tell my teens is to be "appropriate to your environment".
Yes there are times my own daughter wears too much -IN MY OPINION...ya know what I do...I take a picture of her and find another picture of someone who has a comparable amount... "This is what you look like" Works every time.
Check out www.myimagejourney.com ( http://www.myimagejourney.com )

When I was younger than I do now. By a long shot.

I think it's the time thing -- I have so many better things to do (sleep among them) and unless I'm going to be in a biz meeting, filmed or photographer -- I don't bother.

Susan Getgood blogs at Marketing Roadmaps ( http://getgood.com/roadmaps ), Snapshot Chronicles ( http://snapshotchronicles.com ) and Snapshot Chronicles Roadtrip ( http://snapshotchronicles.com/roadtrip ).

I've worn makeup since I was a teenager. I wear less now, with more flattering colors, and it takes less than five minutes to apply. I agree that to much makeup is worse than none at all. But by the time people are in their 30s, those who wear none do look worse than those who put on some blush, mascara, and lip tint.

When my daughter, who's eight now, is old enough to wear make up, I'll happily take her shopping. And if she doesn't want to, that's fine as well. There's nothing wrong with wanting to look pretty. It's like making an effort to put on a nice dress and coordinated scarf instead of a t-shirt and sweats.

And if there's anyone teens should turn to if they want to wear flattering, looks like it's hardly there makeup, it's Bobbi Brown.

When I was twelve my brother who is 13 years older than I, brought a girlfriend home. She looked beautiful and wore a full face of makeup. I started wearing makeup on the weekends because of her. Neither of my parents objected.

Christmas came and we all went to my grandmother's house for a celebration. I wore eyeshadow, eyeliner and a blush. When I walked into the house my grandmother asked if it was cold outside. It was December in NYC so of course it was cold. Ten minutes later, my grandmother cornered me and told me that I had too much blush and eye makeup on and I should take it off in the bathroom because I looked silly. I was crushed.

Wearing makeup was just a part of growing up. When I told my mother what my grandmother said, my Mom replied "well she doesn't want to see you grow up." My parents understood because there were four children before me. They wanted to choose their battles wisely. Avoiding drugs/peer pressure and choosing education were their topics. Clothing and makeup didn't phase them because it was temporary.

For Christmas. my Mom's sister gifted me a small makeup case and eyeshadow kit. In January that year, the Catholic school I attended brought a woman in to speak to the girls at our school about choosing the correct colors and how to apply makeup. I was fascinated with the women and the knowledge she shared. My preteen self felt like the gift of makeup and the knowledge to apply were a nod of approval towards being a teen.

I've been a middle school teacher for 15 years. Some of the girls come to school wearing makeup. They want to look like teens. About 98% choose to look natural. We've never seen any of the girls wear too much makeup that it needed to be taken off.

From 15 until now I've been pretty minimalist with makeup. I think everyone looks better with some eye makeup and lipstick. As a teacher, I compliment the girls on their makeup because they need confidence and to be built up. Confident girls are going to be able to fight off peer pressure when conversations about drinking, drugs and sex come up. Kids see, know and do a lot more at 11 than we did because of the Internet.

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I was pretty confused when I saw this at the gym this morning... The girls on the show looked my daughter's age, and I can't imagine her wearing make-up. Don't get me wrong, I love getting made up and playing dress-ups as much as the next girl, but only on special occasions. On a daily basis, I can't imagine taking the time, much less the feeling of "needing" to be anything other than exactly what I am.

When my - now ex - husband and I started dating, he told me that he wouldn't want to date a woman he couldn't get wet. He meant a girl who would panic if she got caught in a rainstorm, or would melt. Now, seemingly a million years later, I recently woke up in the bed of a dreamy man (6 months after this dream began) and he said to me, "wow, you look the same in the morning as you did last night." Yup.

I want to feel good about who I am when I wake up, or, at the very least, know that I'm not going to scare someone if I get caught in the rain - or without make-up. I feel pretty strongly about raising a daughter who feels confident when she wakes up in the morning. And that dress-ups are a fun game, but that's all.

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AlyssaRoyse.com ( http://www.alyssaroyse.com )

Growing up, my mother always had almost bare face, but insisted often that I would look better with "just a little lipstick." I work in customer service arena, so makeup for the office is expected, and I finally taught myself to look a little more dramatic on weekend nights.

But I still don't like to wear lipstick.

I wish I was less "dependent" on makeup, especially because my skin is a pain in the butt, and I know it'd be better if I didn't wear makeup as often :P Of course, when my skin is crap, I feel the need to cover it up!

I don't wear makeup for the same reasons you gave: My skin doesn't like it, and I'm just not willing to invest the time (or the money). I like to hope that my four year old daughter never shows a big interest in makeup, but if she does? It's probably good to have access to good information on how to use makeup. I certainly won't be able to help here there!

I prefer my makeup to enhance, instead of covering up, my face. I started wearing makeup in junior high. By the time I was in High School, I was using eyebrow pencil, lip gloss, powder, eyeshadow, and liner. I admit it. I am high maintenance.

Now I only wear makeup on weekends. During the week I am at home cleaning. I don't see the point in wasting money to look cute for the dirt! Makeup is kind of expensive too. LOL

Had I a daughter though, I wouldn't want her to wear makeup until she was 13-ish. Not too much makeup either (lip gloss and a little shadow or something). Makeup should be fun not an addiction.

I remember wearing blue eye liner in high school. I don't know why other than my friends were wearing them. It all seem so silly now. I wear my bare, natural face every day with my head held high. I have two daughters, 9 and 7. We talk about being beautiful on the inside and how that beauty transfers over to the outside. When we talk about make up it's more about the poisons and how toxic it is have them absorbed by our bodies,not as a confidence booster must have. I wished permanent confidence was easily sold in a small neat little jar at the department store.

It got me sent home from junior high one day because it burned my eyeballs. Sadly, I kept using it for about a year because it was just so darn cool.

Yeah, 9th grade was a puffy-eyed year.

http://historyandshinythings.blogspot.com/

I was taken to the Clinique counter in junior high and given a bunch of make-up for Christmas and my birthday. I'd already been curling my hair daily since fifth grade. When I hit all that went out the window after the first couple weeks. Now I only wear make-up and style my hair when going out and not on a daily basis. Whereas my mother wears make-up all the time and can't stand to see me without it. Fortunately, she lives 2,000 miles away.