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I heard about Blogher through a chain of events and have been looking through the content with increasing interest. Tonight I ran accross a post by Catherine Morgan, titled Why Do You Blog? Can Writing Heal You? Does It Make You Feel Better? and I wondered why don't I experiment with this medium and see if I feel better.
You see, I am at a turning point in my life, some might call it a mid-life crisis. I am forty-one, a senior executive at a large NPO, mother, MBA. From all outside perspectives, I look like I have it all...even own a house in a safe neighborhood and a partner that thinks I am sexy... in my old hoodie and polka dot socks no less. But alas, I am overwhelmed, tired and treading water like a mad woman in order to gasp for air, and my gut tells me to let go of it all and see what happens.
The amazing paradox that I have faced at so many junctures in my life, taking the leap of faith and trusting God, the Universe, Baba, whatever, that I will be okay. I know from experience that when I just let go, amazing things happen. But this time, I am struggling. Struggling because the light at the end of the tunnel is not visable yet, and I am unsure which way to walk. I do know that sitting in the dark, bound how I live today is not the answer, but its better than just plain dark...or so I think.
I also don't want to sound as if I am whining. I am grateful for all I have, believe me. I just am feeling full, exhausted, and spent.
I had my perfomance review this week. My boss, the CEO of the organization I work for, raved about my performance and that I have the potential to be an EXTRODINARY leader. The area of improvement she spoke to was my need to practice self care. When I asked her what would that look like in the line of work we do, she admitted that she had a problem with it too.
As I have written this entry, I have decided to blog on my journey from this point forward and document the transformation. Shoot. I must admit that I feel a little better writing this entry. Thank you, Catherine for your suggestion...I'll keep you posted.
