I am a 40-something divorced woman with the libido of an 18 year old boy.  I didn’t realize that when ‘they’ said women peak in their 40’s that it would be like this.  I am insatiable these days and this has led me to question what acceptable behavior is and is not for me.

I want, no need to open a dialogue about women and sex and breaking the ‘rules’ that have been set for us.  I was raised a good catholic girl and told that sex is bad and God only made it available to us for the purpose of procreation.  Bullshit!  God created and creates everything perfectly and sex is an awesome fulfilling releasing experience.  I believe he would be shaking his head at his ‘children’ and thinking, what is there problem…I gave them this beautiful ability to please themselves and others and they have shrouded it in guilt and shame and ugliness.  So here goes…

First off, does my dating have to focus on finding love?  Am I a floozy if I meet and sleep with someone who might not stimulate me intellectually or have any chance of winning my heart, but that get’s my juices flowing?  Is there anything wrong with a sexual relationship for the pure sake of sexual satisfaction?

Now I know that making passionate love to someone I love is not the same as having sex.  Even if he is not the greatest lover, the experience can be intense and amazing because of the emotional connection.  But can’t something similar be said of sex with a hot man who is an excellent lover…no emotional passion, but perhaps amazing chemistry and just raw, unadulterated sizzling sex.  Is there anything wrong with that?

I read Liz Rizzo’s post on sex (and was inspired to write this).  The topic of FWB came up.  I have a guy friend that I love.  We worked together for years when we were both happily married and now I am divorced, he is separated.  He cares deeply for me and I for him, but we know we will never be together.  He is a generous lover, so why shouldn’t we please each other.  I think it is great that I can tell him that I am enormously horny and want to see him (and, yes, use him) and he is all game (surprise).  Is there a down side?

Now I am going to go out on a limb here…what about experimenting and learning new ‘skills’?  After all, how do we learn to be good lovers?  Some people never even learn what pleases themselves never mind how to please their lover. So, if not now, when?

What is your opinion on joining a couple that you meet and like, for fun in bed? Is that outrageous, taboo, wrong?  If we are all consenting adults, are there not new techniques to be learned and fun to be had?

What about meeting another woman…I believe bi-curious is the latest politically correct term.  The more I think about it, I probably know as much about pleasing a woman (since I am pretty certain what pleases me) as I do about pleasing a man.  And the thought of how much more attentive a woman might be in bed…it’s sure got me thinking.

Lot’s to think about ladies…I would love feedback on any of these issues or other variations on this topic.  Please write and share your thoughts (and experiences!!)

Karen