Migraines, Skittles, and Miracles, Oh My!
By Booloodoojoy on October 04, 2013
Let's just start by saying this. Migraines suck. Migraines suck even if you are locked in a dark room, all sounds muffled, 5000 miles away from civilization.
Anyone who says "It's only a bad headache" has obviously never had the joyful experience of having a sledgehammer repeatedly pummeling their head in. To the point that anyone who is silly enough to come within 20 feet of you will hear the voice of Satan come out of your mouth. "GO AWAY NOWWWWW"
Imagine that you are a teacher with a migraine. You bring yourself to school because you are supercallafragalistically dedicated to your kids, and, well, you're insane. Your own kids won't come near you with a five foot pole and without a vial of holy water, but your students are blissfully oblivious.
It begins at drop off. Apparently no one wanted to come to school today. You put on your biggest smile, and use your happiest voice. It sounded happy to you, but maybe they heard Satan say "GWARRRRR" . In any case, you do not get six little rays of sunshine in return. You get something sinister. Still, you continue to smile and by some small miracle, all make it to the classroom.....
To realize that everyone forgot to put the master reinforcement box up high. Now, most reading this will know what a reinforcement box is, but for those who don't, let me acquaint you. The reinforcement box is the HOLY GRAIL. This HOLY GRAIL contains all kinds of magically delicious treats that are exchanged for positive output..kind of like my paycheck, but better. Only just like we like to get paid and still have holidays off, the kids are on to us. If a reinforcement box is left unattended, it's like leaving a hot dog on the beach for the seagulls.
Skittles are made by the Devil. I love Skittles right now as much as I love migraines. Picture a big bag of Skittles. Now picture the Skittles in the bag cut in half so that you have double the amount. A gazillion Skittles divided by 6 kids = Armageddon. These children swarmed the Skittles so fast, I couldn't have said Beetlejuice three times. It looked like the equivalent of an episode of The Walking Dead, only replace Zombies and flesh with Skittles and children. I figure they each ate about a small bag worth, and its only 9 am. (As an aside, I have approached Admin about using grapes, apples, cheese, and other healthy alternatives to candy. I was given a look which made me retreat quickly from the office. Apparently it was tried, and the mutiny was swift and cutthroat. So we have Skittles. And goldfish and pretzels, but no one ever wants those.)
I now get to watch the scene unfold, and I am powerless. I have to give mad props to the art teacher who managed to teach despite the flying monkeys around her. She kept right on teaching, while they hopped and giggled and chortled and guffawed. To whoever did the study debunking sugar as a cause for hyperactivity, I say "Bullpoop". (And that's being kind).
Thankfully, things did calm down about 12:30, but not before one monkey tried to jump the fence and another made a run for the gate.
And still, the day was not without miracles. One student said their first complete sentence. I don't care that it was "Sit down, I want an almond." It was a perfectly perfect sentence. Another student sang our morning song, complete with signing. It didn't matter that she sang it at 2 , she never sang it in the morning before, but now she sang it from start to finish.
Which is why, despite possession by Satan and his sledgehammer, and being surrounded by flying monkeys hopped up on sugar, I choose to do what I do every day. Because even when it feels like things can't possibly get worse, there's always a miracle. Every single one of the kids bring a miracle to school with them, and it suddenly appears right when it's needed most. I believe that's what they are here for, to remind us what's really important in life, and what isn't. Sometimes what you need most is some Skittles and a song to get you right. Amen to that. By the way, the migraine has left the building. Peace, love, and flying monkeys to all. Have an auwsome weekend, friends.
“We write to taste life twice, in the moment and in retrospect.” ~Anais Nin
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