By danijane on August 19, 2014
My last post was on the 13th. I missed a few days. This life of mine....
The post I wanted to do was prompted by Victor Hugo's: "Intelligence is the wife, imagination is the mistress and memory is the servant". This prompt fed into the next one which asked the question, does time heal all wounds? Then yesterday's prompt was about my readiness for Back to School.
Today's prompt is about my favorite grade in school. So what's a girl to do? I can probably weave a fantastic blog using bits and pieces of the 3 missing days and even today's prompt.
Let me give it a whirl....
First of all Hugo's quote had me all up in my head. Based on the current state of my marriage...you know 21 years in, two teenage-ish girls, lots of pulls in all directions....
Let's just say the spontaneous sex is just a memory...
Literally, as the wife, I have to intellectualize my reality or else I would just bawl my eyes out 24-7. I would like to be someone's "imaginary mistress". My husband's for example. I try to let him know that I, too, miss the unfettered access to his assets but in our current situation and the girls being home and staying up late and having sleepovers....it just isn't feasible to be rockin' the house. So be a servant to your memories of our toe curling interludes until we can get back in the saddle so speak. He hates this talk. He hates this reality. But it is what it is.
"The best sex is in your head". Or so I have heard. It's just a phase, not a life sentence.
Time is on our side. I just hope (moving on to the next prompt), I don't have to say the words; "time heals all wounds". Because I hope no one gets "wounded" by the transitional phase we are in. Mostly because I actually do not subscribe to this belief. I believe that some wounds are too deep, too painful, and too unforgettable to be healed by time.
And crossing a line in a marriage is one such wound. I have seen the wreckage that is left when vows are shattered by weakness. I once asked my husband if he thought our marriage could survive infidelity. He said he thought so. This response did not comfort me. I felt like it was akin to the idea that if you teach kids about birth control and give them access to condoms, they are more likely to have sex. <----Intellectually I think that is total bullshit, but emotionally, I wanted my husband to say, "Hell NO we couldn't survive that, I love you so, so much, I would be devastated if you cheated and I could never imagine a circumstance that would put me in a position to cheat on you"!
Probably should have written him a script....
Am I ready for back to school? Unequivocally YES! So ready. Ready for my girls to get off my couch and get back to the business of learning. Ready for the constant bickering and complaining to be done elsewhere... (Knowing full well it happens nowhere but HERE). Ready to invite my husband home for "lunch" and rekindle our romance. Back to school excitement is what I am all about. Yes I will be driving 2 girls to 2 different schools. Yes one child starts at 7 am and one child starts at 8. Yes, after school pickup will be challenging with identical dismissal times. Yes one kid will always be second to be picked up, but I will rotate who has to be the "waiting patiently" kid. But back to me...the 6 hours while they are improving their knowledge base, I will be writing and screwing. Deal with it.
Finally, I am caught up....
My favorite grade in school....
Favorite teacher has been recorded: Mrs. Jane Pease. 7th grade English, East Junior High School, Tiffin, Ohio.
I think 8th grade stands out, for many reasons. It was before R.A. stole my life. It was the year I fell in love for real. For the first time. It was the year my core group of friends was solidified and established. It was the year I felt the most comfortable with who I was, how I looked and what I was doing in and out of the classroom. It was a highlight for sure. Following 8th grade I had glimmers of the feelings of complete calm. When I was not stressed about my health or my familial unrest. When my body felt strong and my emotional well-being was being complimented by a stellar love life.....but 8th grade was a highlight. The innocence of youth was still overriding anything else.
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