The Missing Piece

"Life is short, but sometimes it is bigger than the strength she had to get up off her knees."

- Whiskey Lullabye by Brad Paisley & Allison Krause

My hands were shaking as I tried to dial the number on the phone. I sat outside during a blistering cold winter in Ohio. I kept fumbling with the phone, trying to get the number right, and second guessing myself the whole time. I probably shouldn't even be doing this.

I finally got it right and forced myself to push the call button, trying to keep myself from gagging from my nerves that were tied into knots by this point. A lady answered, and I asked for him. She said hold on. Oh my god, he's there. I wasn't expecting this, and when he got on the phone I had no clue what to say. I had to force myself to not hang up. Just say it. Just say it. So, I blurted it out in a fit of nervous vomit. I asked if he knew my mom. He said yes. I told him that I had been told that he was my father. Not knowing what to say to this he says, "No, honey I don't think so." With those six words my heart broke into a million pieces. I gulped and wished him a happy holiday and hung up. My head dropped as shame and heartache filled me. I finished my cigarette and stepped inside.

CONTINUE READING @ http://atomicmom.typepad.com/atomic-mom/2009/04/the-missing-piece.html

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