A Modern Day Hero Against Bad Parenting

 AspiringChange Well of course I don't mind! Thanks so much for sharing, and I'm glad you liked it!

 jpshaw My thanks and admiration to you. I am never bothered by or judgmental of people whose kids are loud or disruptive, because kids are like that sometimes - only of people who let it go completely unaddressed. 

 jpshaw

 You are my hero.  You are one of the first mothers I have ever heard acknowledge that we can't expect the world to adapt to our children (and all their varying needs), but we must help our children adapt to the world.  Bravo. 

Jane Byers Goodwin Thank you, Jane.

Our little one-year-old daughter was - and I'm not exaggerating - run down in a toy store by a kid who was, I'm guessing, about ten. This boy was out of control from the second he walked in - went straight for a trike that was way too big for him and started tearing up and down the single aisle of the small store while the mother made a beeline for something at the very back of the place and paid no attention to him.

After nearly hitting our little one twice, he ran smack into her and then KEPT GOING, pushing her in front of him. I was there in a split second to collect our little girl, got down at the boy's level and all but yelled, "Are you kidding?? She's not even two! You're so much bigger than her and totally out of control - what exactly do you think you're doing??!" He ran to his mother, crying as if he were the injured party, and saying (oddly), "Is this what you wanted to happen?"

The mother followed me out of the store a few minutes later and politely asked to speak to me. She explained that the boy is autistic and, to prevent a further meltdown she had to attend to him first but that they were sorry about the incident.

I'm sympathetic to how much work it must be to have an autistic child and am grateful we are not facing that particular challenge, but I believe firmly that it is 100% your responsibility to control your own children, even (and especially) if they have special needs. This mom was completely absent and unaware of what he was doing at the other end of the store when our child was hurt by her child. That's not OK, no matter what your child's needs are. Period.

Jane Byers Goodwin Amen and thank you and YES YES YES!!!

@Lucy's Reality

I totally believe that there are a "breed" of parents out now....the ME generation....who totally have no concern with their children misbehaving in public. I've seen it too many time to think it is a rare occurrence. It is not a "bad day" kind of thing. Too bad most mgt is too wimpy to address it and risk losing those 2 parent's business. They'd usually prefer to ignore and lose a room full of customer business...jmho.

suzieq6812 My children were disciplined and neither ever got in any trouble in school. But, I have taught them humility, respect and love. We can control our behavior and not others and it is best to live by example. As a teacher I don't believe in humiliating people, adults or children but it seems others feel it is an effective tool, I am assuming all the parents commenting use it as a discipline tool, since they love the story, I mean that is at the heart of this story, humiliation to make a point, right? Personally, I have a problem with it as a tool for their children, I feel bad for their kids, humiliation is wrong in any circumstance, that is truly how I feel, what a way to grow up and learn. Very sad indeed.

 Lucy's Reality   I think it is wrong to say that parenting the kid is not your responsibility.  What happened to community?  To society raising a child?  Why can't we work together?  You expect teachers to discipline, parents to discipline, heck, even grandparents, but why not others as well?  If I have someone watching my kids all day long, you bet I want them disciplined by the babysitters!  I want someone stopping my child from running into the street, climbing onto the table, drinking or eating something they shouldn't. 

Yes, enjoy watching children playing is awesome.  And I love doing it, but when their play is not at a playground, amusement park, or children's museum, it's not quite the same enjoyment.

 ldskatelyn As a teacher, seeing all of these comments crack me up, half of you on here would not and do not tolerate a professional disciplining your children. l have attended so many teacher/parent conferences and basically our instruction was to keep our mouths shut because mommy and daddy cannot handle the truth, it is easier to get the kids the hell out of the school and into the 'real world' where now professors are bitching about helicopter parents, so something tells me from statistics that a majority of you parents could not handle hearing anything about your kids and your comments prove it, most of you claim the perfect child, and that my friends is a joke.  Typically, I find the ones cheering the loudest and judging the most are the most pathetic parents because when you judge others so harshly you usually lack something, judging makes you feel superior.

Annnnnd...before anyone says "well, we weren't talking about special needs kids, just badly behaved kids," I'll just go ahead and say that there is nothing physically about my son that differentiates him from non-neurotypical children. Unless someone was familiar with him personally, there would be nothing about him, short of hanging a sign around his neck, that tells the uninformed that he has autism. NOTHING.

BarnMaven I hear your frustration at this father's actions. But it is indefensible for TWO parents to stand by obliviously when TWO children are running rampant in a restaurant.My hunch is that, even when your son has outbursts, you're aware of him, aware of the people around him, etc. These parents, given what we've been told in the story, were not.

So, really, I doubt that you would incur the same wrath or treatment that these folks did. So, your argument is a little bit of a straw man.

BarnMaven My son has autism and is prone to outbursts, too. And so I generally give parents of kids having outbursts the benefit of the doubt because hey, like you said, their kid might have special needs and I know how hard it can be to control my son in public and how frustrating it is when people judge us. But that said, there's a difference in me letting my child run laps around my table or address him throwing himself on the ground screaming than me letting me child run through a restaurant bumping into other people. I would never feel comfortable sitting back and letting my son smack into strangers. I rarely take both kids out alone and when my husband is out with us, if our son is having a really hard time, one of us takes him outside. Special needs or not, it sounds like the parents should have been at least *trying* something to calm their children down. Special needs is an explanation, not an excuse.

BarnMaven So, you want people to come up to the parents of an out-of-control child and ask, "Is your child special needs? Yes, oh ok, nevermind vs. No? Then (proceed to the conversation above)." I don't see that a. happening and b. working out.
Also, we once went to a play area in a mall and a friend of mine had her daughter get kicked in her catheter (she had leukemia) by a boy. Should she have asked the parents if the boy kicking and who sent her daughter to the hospital if their extremely aggressive behaviour-unchecked child was special needs? Sorry. I feel for parents of special needs children and I respect special needs children. But in no way does this rationalize other people having their rights violated.

BarnMaven I'm sorry, there is absolutely zero circumstances for another person, adult or child to hit another human being. If I had been there, I would have 'bumped' into the parents on my way out b/c clearly they consider it perfectly acceptable behavior.

 BarnMaven The shame of your argument is that a because a child or adult has a cognitive or behavioral disability, you seem that person should be excused from not violating the personal space of others. Maybe he could have refrained from calling  them "shits"  but other than that, he was dead on the mark. It seems we use too many excuses for people when someone violates other people's personal space in public. 

No child, regardless of their disability should be able to terrorize a whole restaurant as his parents sit by passively. 

What if the child with a disability unintentionally hurts someone in the middle of their meltdown? I've seen that happen.

I'm sorry, we need an end to excuses and some accountability on the part of the supposed responsible adult. I don't think asking to go out in public and enjoy a cup of coffee and a paper in relative quiet without being run over by someone else's children is not asking too much.