Eavesdrop on any conversation between two moms or visit any online parenting forum and you're likely to hear references to a mysterious woman. She's called That Mom, and she is an ode to failure.

We're all guilty of judging her. "Did you hear That Mom yelling at her kids in the store today?" "I can't believe That Mom didn't stop her kid from throwing sand at the park earlier." "I'm glad I'm not That Mom who lets her kids watch so much TV."

We're all guilty of envying her too. She's That Mom who says she was up all night with a sick child, yet looks bright and cheery, her clothes match and her hair is perfect. She's That Mom who runs five mornings a week and lost the pregnancy weight in a month. She juggles a career and homelife seemingly without effort. That Mom makes us feel fat, stupid, impatient, lazy or just not good enough.

That Mom is living proof that someone will usually be there to witness our less than stellar parenting moments and that no matter how well we think we are doing, someone is always better.

Here's something else. We have all been That Mom. I'm That Mom with the clean house, the menu plans and the lists, the one who wears high heels to the playground and is never, ever seen in sweatpants. I'm also That Mom with the short fuse, the public restroom phobia and the child who yells the word 'penis' across a crowded store.

That Mom stands for everything we wish to be and everything we struggle with. That Mom isn't a fake, unattainable ideal like we see on TV. She is real and she lives in all of us. She highlights our strengths and our weaknesses. She makes me think twice before I open my mouth, she gives me something to aspire to, and she gives me permission to not be so hard on myself.

I'm guilty of judging That Mom, but next time I see her, I'm going to give her the benefit of the doubt. Because chances are she's a normal mom who loves her kids, just doing her best.Originally posted at my family site: The Great Walls Of Baltimore