Mom-Bloggers Saved My Life! (A Mother's Day Ode)
By Her Bad Mother on May 07, 2008
BlogHer Original Post
As I keep reminding anybody who will listen to me, I will - gods willing - give birth in the very near future. It will be my second time 'round the childbirthing block, but I gotta say: this part (the preparing to give birth part, and, I assume, the birthing part itself) is none the easier for having been there before.
That said, I have something this time around that I didn't have the first time: I have a vast community of mom-peers online - moms who blog, moms who read blogs, grandmoms who blog and read blogs, and some not-yet moms who really love moms and mom-blogs. And they have made all the difference.
I was going to wait until after this birth to write about this (and I may still, on my personal blog), but Mother's Day is approaching, and in the pitch of posts this month about mothers and others supporting mothers all around the world (have you been supporting BlogHer's quest to raise money for Global Giving? HAVE YOU?) , I thought it important to raise a voice in tribute to the mothers in our midst. Our bloggy midst. I thought it important to say something about how these moms have - and I only exaggerate very slightly here - saved my life - my physical well-being and my mental health, my happiness and my wellness - and they continue, every day, to save others.
Mine has been a difficult pregnancy. The first trimester (and beyond) was marked by severe, debilitating morning sickness. The second trimester was inaugurated with a genetic-testing-related scare that sent me tumbling into depression. The third is drawing to a close with what's shaping up to be weeks-long labor. I don't know that I could have coped as well as I have through any one - let alone all - of these difficulties without the ongoing support of the momosphere. They've shared their own stories and strategies and support resources every step of the way, and in so doing provided me with both invaluable advice and immeasurably invaluable support. They've given me remedies for morning sickness and virtually held my hair back when remedies didn't work. They walked me through the complexities of genetic testing, counselled me through the heartache of decision-making related to the results of those tests, and virtually held my hand through amniocentesis and the period of waiting for results. They've commisserated over the difficulties of late pregnancy with a giant fetus, and aided me through what already seems to be endless early labor. They have provided sensible, reasonable commentary on the matter of c-sections after someone terrified me with gory videos and prattle about slaughter. They have counselled me on natural induction methods, on whether or not to have some wine to relax, on whether or not experimenting with castor oil is worth the potential nasty side effects. Today, they reminded me that I am not crazy and that I should never listen to any medical professional who suggests otherwise.
By the time the birthing is done, I will be able to say in all sincerity that these women, all these women, have been - in addition to being friends and confidantes, colleagues and peers - in some some very important ways, my midwives.
They have been all this, and more, to me, and will continue to be long after this child is born. And they will be all of this, and more, to others, and to each other, and I to them. They will dispense advice and friendship and love and support like tap water; they will throw showers and kitchen parties and join together to build community with each other online and off. They will hold hands through the darkest moments of motherhood and pregnancy. They will be mothers.
I'm not alone in this feeling, I know. There are a whole lot of pregnant women out there in the blogosphere right now who know exactly what I'm talking about. So on behalf of those women, and myself, and all of us, together: HAPPY MOTHERS DAY MOM-BLOGGERS. Thank you for helping us have healthy, sane pregnancies and motherhoods.
Mostly unrelated post-script: wanna do something awesome for a mom this Mother's Day? Mother Earth, maybe? GET GARDENING. This month's eco-challenge over at BlogHers Act Canada is Gardening Green, and we're looking for your stories, photos, advice, opinions about keeping your gardens green, and using green gardening as a means to promote eco-awareness (in addition to just making things purdy.)
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