Mom, I really need to talk to you... call me back.

BlogHer Original Post

Six weeks ago, I plucked my iPhone from the charger at 7:30am and found a voicemail from my oldest daughter, Jenn. Oops, the ringer was off and it was still in the bedroom. Happens more often than you'd think. Who calls at 7am??? Lots of people.

I listened to the voicemail and all I really heard was "Call me back, I really need to talk to you." I hate it when my kids say "I really need to talk to you." It's never good news.

From the tone of her voice, I guessed two things - either she's pregnant or she's getting married...

I went about my morning because I assumed she was at work and we'd just be playing phone tag. Around mid-day, I called and left her a voicemail... she called right back...

"Teddy asked me to marry him!"

....

....

....

(... = my silence)

Once I was able to control the urge to lecture her, my response was "I assume you've said yes and congratulations are in order?"

She laughed. I laughed. I mentioned the patriarchy. I asked her when and how it happened and she launched into a very long story, mixed with laughter and tears.

I am not the mom of the bride type. I'm just not. Thank goodness my kids know this and don't hold it against me (at least not anymore than I hold it against them for making these types of decisions.) We have that kind of a relationship. The kind where we can all be who we are, say what we think, and still love and respect each other when it's all said and done.

I listened to her tell her story. It was one of those romantic boy/girl sorts of things. The perfect dinner. A walk along The Battery. The boy on bended knee. I asked her what she ordered from SNOB (That's Slightly North of Broad for you non-Charlestonians. Foodies and travel folks should click that even if you aren't interested in weddings.) I asked her what the ring looks like. I asked her if she was really, really sure this was right. I might even have cried a little, a mix of sadness and happiness that an anti-marriage kind of mom can manage.

She hadn't told anyone else yet, so I urged her to hang up and call her sister and her brother and to send her grandmother a text message.

"Text? Really? I was going to call her."

"No! Send her a text, she'll love it!"

So she did... and my mom's texted reply was "OMG!" which made Jenn laugh and has now become a family story. "Grandma texted "OMG!" that cracks my kids UP.

This is not my daughter's first marriage, she got married when she was 18, much to my chagrin. It was a small wedding, at a justice of the peace. She wore her prom dress, for goodness sakes. This time, she wants a real wedding and nothing I said could convince her otherwise. So... that's where we are, planning a real wedding... with me quietly screaming PATRIARCHY at every turn.

It's gonna be great. Seriously. Just wait, you'll see. In the meantime, here are some newly engaged folks to help us feel all warm and fuzzy...

What a Feeling! A beach, a Bible and "Flamingo".

Geek Chic Wedding - Coffee, poppies and... oh just go read it!

Now that you're all weepy and sentimental, it is with great pleasure that I tell you I won't be the only one "wedding blogging" around here. Our very own Kristy is also engaged. For those who believe in fate, we just discovered they are getting married on the very same day! What are the odds of that? Kristy and I are going to blog our experiences together. Me, a grumpy anti-marriage mom of a beautiful bride to be... and Kristy, a beautiful bride to be.

It IS going to be great.

~~Denise
Flamingo House Happenings

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