That Moment

When you get that A-HA.. when everything clicks and you realize THIS is what I was meant to do... I had one of those on Monday evening after I was reflecting on the day and how my 5K trainees did during their workout.  I realized that I love being a Jazzercise Instructor, Personal Trainer and Running Coach.  I love being able to be apart of someone's journey and helping them meet their goals.  THIS is what I was made to do. My mom always said to me our steps are already ordered.. God is just allowing us to walk our path.. wrong turns are made but along the wrong turn there was a lesson that you will learn and it directs you RIGHT BACK to the path God already had for us.  I will be honest as a teenager/young adult even with my strong faith in God I thought Mama BK was CRAZAY yup I spelled it wrong on purpose.  lol  but no she wasn't crazy as I've learned.. SHE WAS WISE and I'm so grateful to her drilling that message into my head from such a young age. I have a few races on my calendar as I mentioned and I am running them all for fun.  No time goal in mind and just to get thru them and finish standing up right.  During my reflection on Monday I also realized while  I LOVE TO RUN, I NO LONGER HAVE THE DESIRE TO RACE. Did you get that???


I NO LONGER HAVE THE DESIRE TO RACE. 


I typed that out as a FB status and the comments that followed were like validation.  I didn't do it to seek that.. it was just a random thought.. and past trainees commented.. One said I thought you already knew that since you sacrifice so much of yourself for us.. WOW the last few days I have been wrestling with this.. Last night in my area we had a storm warning.. I erred on the side of caution and canceled my 5K training group run an hour before it started.. 12 showed up anyway to my surprise.. They ran the parking lot so they would be close to their cars in case the storm started.  THAT dedication. THAT drive.. it moved me to tears as I watched them run their intervals.  This is week one for them and I couldn't be more proud.  I talked to Mama BK about it and she laughed.. she said I don't know why you are so hard headed.. THIS IS WHAT YOU WERE MADE TO DO.. You've been that way since you were a kid.. She brought up a story about me sacrificing myself during a cross country race in HS to make sure my teammate was ok.  My teammate and I always ran together.. we were about the same pace but I had a stronger finish.. she took a nasty fall and even when she told me to leave her.. I didn't.. I stayed and had her hang onto me so that we could finish the race.  My coach was livid because I lost valuable points for our team that day but after realizing that she was hurt bad he was no longer upset with me but glad that I stayed with her.

So while I love a good race medal and race swag... I'm ok with NOT racing as often.  If I do run any races it will be in support of others and/or as a pacer and I'M OK WITH THAT

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