Many aspects of our lives are unpredictable. Except two things:
Our lives will end at some point and during our lives there will be many changes.
Learning to cope with the idea that we will all die someday is a difficult one. Equally difficult is learning to deal with change. Sometimes it seems that just as we are getting used to something, it changes.
Last year I remember thinking how great our lives were.
Our kids were healthy, we have a strong marriage, good friends, and live in a fantastic neighbourhood. I looked around at all the wonderful things in my life and I got a little scared. Because I knew it could all change in an instant. I am glad I took the time to appreciate that care-free and stress-free time.
Things are still pretty good, but there is much more stress in my life and worry for those that I love.
Changes. Bloody changes.
I suppose if nothing ever changed then the fantastic would never emerge and the amazing would stay hidden.
There have been some pretty amazing changes in my own life. Some were good, some were not. But without them, where would I be now?
Change is the source of newness.
We wake up in a new world every day.
Looking back, some of the more influential changes in my life were:
1. Getting glasses when I was 6. The whole world looked different. I could see everything without having to get so close to it. In some ways though, I wonder what I lost by being able to see from a distance.
2. My parents divorce. Though this was a very sad and stressful time, much of who I am emerged from the sadness of this time.
3. Leaving Prince Edward Island. PEI was the only place I knew. Small, close, safe. Going to live on the opposite end of the country in a big city changed me in a way I never thought possible. My eyes were open and ready for more.
4. Moving to China. When I was 24 I picked up and moved to China. No job, only a place to live with my sister and a return ticket. I turned this experience into one that would ultimately take more places than I dreamed. Sad places, exciting places. Amazing.
5. Going to university. I had never really questioned the things I believed until I went back to school. University made me see how our minds get stuck in the mud and opened me up to a whole new world.
6. Having children. I was a kid again. Having children also helps you rediscover the world and see things the way you did when you were a kid. And, you can do stuff like Bad Kitty and no one thinks you are weird, unless they see you do it.
7. Realizing I was a writer. I have always been writing. I wrote poems when I was little, kept a diary, wrote short stories. I never really believed I was a writer though until I had someone else read my work and told me I should publish it. Its funny how when someone else has faith in you, you find it easier to believe.
8. Blogging. Taking my writing to the web has been an amazing experience. Interacting, sharing, commenting, tweeting, liking, I love it all and all of you. **Please forgive me if I have to disappear a little these next few months while I adapt to grad school. I do think about you all very much, but probably won't have as much time to read and comment on your blogs, let alone write on my own.
9. Moving to UniverCity. I love the community I live in. I know most of my neighbours and my kids have oodles of other children to play with every day. I don't know how I would have survived being a stay at home mom without my community and my mom buds who have become more to me than they will ever know. Living here has changed the way I think about community, friends, and neighbours.
10. Becoming a graduate student. I am still finding out how this time of my life will change me. Stay tuned.