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A Mommy & Me Vacation

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Michelle Obama added a trip known as a “Mommy and me” trip to her summer vacation schedule. Sasha, 9, and her mother will travel to Spain. Other families have family vacations with the whole family. Those have a place, but in my experience, the trips a child makes alone with a parent really mean the world.

As I write this, my son is enjoying the benefit of one-on-one time with his father in Japan. He updates his Facebook, and every picture of him shows a beaming 16-year-old. That might surprise anyone with a 16-year-old son. I know it would surprise anyone who has been tortured with endless pictures of my children on vacation -- one will smile, one looks away, one looks bored. He is having a blast without his younger sisters complaining about this destination or that restaurant. Those pictures show exactly why leaving the siblings at home makes for a special parent-child vacation.

My children have traveled quite a bit with their father -- all over the world in fact. Their itineraries across the world make even well-traveled adults sigh with envy. But if you ask my daughter about her favorite trip ever, she rambles about her special “mommy and me” birthday trip, a short two hours from our home, to Disney World.

My daughter’s birthday came at about the same time she became fixated with the Pirates of the Caribbean. She didn’t remember the ride at all from a couple of years earlier when we had season passes to Disney World. So I planned a one night, two day trip to Disney. She loved every minute of it -- from the drizzling rain and stop for doughnuts at the toll road oasis to the rides and magic of Disney.

What she talks about though and what we both remember well about this singular trip, is that she had the undivided attention of her mother. Our days were directed by her whims and not her siblings’ likes and dislikes. We wandered leisurely and lingered in the photo booth. We didn’t talk about anything earthshaking. Instead, we focused on the fun. I reflect back on that trip and realize the thing that made it special truly was having alone time with someone you love. Those connections nurtured and special memories made with “just mom” last.

For my 20 year-old child’s 16th birthday we took her to the closest Ikea at that time -- 5 hours away. We left the other children behind and spent the night in a hotel, ordered room service and came home with the new bedroom furniture she had needed for some time. These trips nurture what can be lost in the hustle and bustle of our lives and trying to juggle the needs of all of the children.

Michelle Obama chose wisely when she decided to take Sasha on a “mommy and me” trip. Among the unforgettable experiences Sasha will have as a child, this one will no doubt rank very high on the list.

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Keakealani 5 pts

I think this is definitely true. Both my brother and I (he's 19, I'm 21) have done solo vacations with my dad, and it was definitely a different experience, even though our relationship with our father is not the best ever. I went to Orange County on one occasion, and San Francisco on another, both corresponding to business trips. My brother went to several volleyball tournaments with our dad during school for me. I've been planning a put-off vacation to Japan with my mom and her sister (the women of the family, so to speak) for a while, and I have always felt that there would be something awesome about spending time alone with my mom. At this point, it's a different experience because my mom and I live together (my brother lives with my dad still) and since we're "adult" children, we have inherently different relationships with our parents than younger ones. For those who are worried that they can't leave their kids at home just yet, it's not too far to wait, and even if you can't take that special time with them until they're 21 or 30 or 40, it's still worth doing. The parent-child relationship is something that evolves, but never really changes its pure form, and I bet you can get something out of that special bonding time with older kids just as much as with your elementary brats. (No offense.) Or of course, there's always skipping out on a day at school if dad can pick the other ones up. It's not the ideal, but really, how bad is it to miss one day? Kids play sick all the time, just do the job for them =P

TW 6 pts

My kids love a trip to a book store, the grocery store, or the hardware store with me one on one, but the extra time and less "buying" and half focus (because after all you are trying to remember whether you need eggs or broccoli) makes it different.

I haven't reached the stage with any of the kids where they don't want to be seen with me.

Retro-Food.com

TW 6 pts

That daddy and fewer kids time is special for them too.

Alternatively, if they have friends--take advantage of a sleepover to spend some special time with one child. Or do like Michelle Obama and wait for one of the children to be off to camp.

Retro-Food.com

TW 6 pts

I never thought I would do the one-on-one vacations either. I love my bustling family--and I felt like we got enough "alone" time on the couch or at bedtime. But mini-mommy and me vacation is amazing.

Retro-Food.com

kyooty 5 pts

I will tuck this in my back parenting pocket.. I know my boys value a trip to the book store with just me but I'm sure it would be even better if it was somewhere further. I know they are getting older and soon they are not going to want to be seen with MOM!

Denise 9 pts moderator

I assume your husband has a day or two off every week? Make it a one night trip - or even just a 12 hour day trip and leave the others at home with their dad on his day off.

:-)

~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager
Life. Flow. Fluctuate.

Expat Mum 5 pts

Whenever I read or hear about this I think "What am I supposed to do with the other two?" Given that my husband has a full time job and we have no relatives around, it's just not feasible for us. It's the same as when people tell me I should "go away with my husband". Err, it's illegal to leave the kids unattended at this stage.

kmwjaxbeach 5 pts

A coworker recommended this type of vacation years ago when my kids were much smaller. I remember thinking why would I want to do THAT?! I love both of my children and our family has so much fun together.

But as time passed, the kids grew older, our schedules grew busier and my children developed their very own distinct personalities (which include head strong, competitive and selective to name a few lol)

While I know I'm truly blessed to have children that really have a special relationship with each other, I began to reexamine this notion an decided that this year I'm going to do it.

For their birthdays (September and October), I'm surprising them by driving them to school and making a small diversion to the highway and head to the "Happiest Place on Earth" (Disneyworld).

I can hardly wait.

Kathy333 5 pts

My mom was a single mother who worked three (yes, 3!!) jobs and some of my greatest memories are of the times she and I took off to the beach, rented a small house, and just hung out. She always made sure we had this time to look forward to, and over the years it has stayed in my mind. I can't wait to do this with my own girls!

Kathy

Allbusiness:Working Mothers ( http://www.allbusiness.com/bio/kathy-murdock/29846... )

Mama Marathoner ( http://www.mamamarathoner.com )

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