Mommy Misadventure: Tiny Dancer

BlogHer Original Post
Submitter Name: 
Kelly Brown
Content Creator Name: 
Carrie H
Blog Name (if applicable, N/A if not): 
Making Lemonade
Category: 
Parenting
Description: 

Carrie is an exceptional DIY blogger but shares her life stories sparingly. This post, a rare peek into her private life, touched and inspired me so deeply that I think about it almost daily.

 

It was too much.  Tears appeared out of nowhere, invading the corners of my eyes.  They burned there until one dripped down my cheek.  My heart felt like it was being squeezed, and it hurt.  We are so blessed-- SO BLESSED-- that she has come this far.  According to the doctors she should be a vegetable.  She was never supposed to walk, let alone run or think or wear a tutu.  But sometimes the 'being different' is like an invisible weight.  From the outside she looks normal, but inside harbors something that makes her different.  Why can't she listen?  Why can't she understand directions?  Why won't she do what she's so obviously supposed to be doing?  What part of the trauma of her early years gave her ADD, was it something I did???

Even in hindsight, tears still fall recalling that moment.  It's hard to watch your kids be different, even in a household that encourages individuality.  Sometimes being different means more than just "she's having fun" and encroaches into will she be able to learn in school or remember the rules when it comes to driving a car or hold down a job territory.  As the tears stung my eyes, my loving friend hugged me and it felt okay.  This friend who has known Noodle since she was in the NICU and loved her every step of the way, no matter what the outcome would be, made it okay.  Somehow, that hug made me feel better and before the other moms noticed I swiped away the tears and took my last few sniffles.

The truth is, you can follow all the rules in the world-- and all the people in the world, for that matter-- and still be miserable.  You probably will be miserable, actually.

For my baby?  I'll choose happiness.  Happiness beats just about everything else in my book.