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Today, the Mommy Week in Review posts a special "controlling beatch" edition. Plus, should I put the baby in day care, are arrowroot biscuits the gateway to obesity, and how to fight for your right to breastfeed at work.
I work really hard to remember that I'm a wife as well as a mother. My husband works really hard to remember he is on the hook for a lot of the parenting responsibilities. I've read every book on shared care parenting...I even teach seminars on the subject. as a couple, we've drawn up lists and had endless conversations about sharing parenting tasks. And yet every single day I say something that makes me sound like a shrill-martyr-mommy-harpy, and I assume the role of default parent, while feeling alternatively heroic and sick to my stomach. This morning, in front of my in-laws, father, and husband I let loose a diatribe about how everyone else (e.g, my husband) felt they could go off an do their own thing while, yet again, I was stuck holding the baby...and trying to get work done. I heard myself shriek, I hated myself for doing it, but I couldn't stop myself. And the worst thing is, after I yell, I get up and assume control of the baby anyway, pushing away those who seek to help. What's wrong with me? Is the controlling mom thing genetic? Do you just outgrow it as the baby matures?
So yes, this week, we've been at my in-laws. My six month old son blossomed while hanging out with his two girl cousins, nine months and almost four years old. The four year old caused him to giggle like I've never seen, and the nine month old inspired him to sit up, unassisted. My son has been with a nanny since he was about two months old, and he doesn't see other babies that much because we're all so busy. From my first tour of a day care center, I felt strongly I didn't want to put him in day care until he's at least a year- it just didn't feel cozy to me for a little one. But now I'm worried I'm depriving him of important contact with other little ones. After just a few hours with other kids he changed. On the other hand, he's never been sick. Is this the time to find an in-home daycare perhaps?
The baby is teething, and everyone wants him to eat arrowroot biscuits or teething cookies. Back to the controlling theme, I'm scared to give him cookies 'cause I don't want him to develop a sweet tooth. Many of them have hi fructose corn syrup. And more than that, I'm terrified he will choke. Yes, I know they've been around for a hundred years and untold millions of babies have eaten them and emerged breathing and thin, but they still make me anxious.I think we'll try cold rings, instead. Any advice for teething foods? He is on purees.
The Sloan Work-Family network just introduced a policy memo on breastfeeding in the workplace. It quotes Massachusetts State Senator Susan Fargo: “We need public policies that recognize that new mothers are returning to the workforce faster than ever before. Breastfeeding not only helps the baby and the mom, it helps our economy by giving employers workers with healthy families and, to make a good thing even better, breastfeeding ultimately takes pressure off of public health-care spending, which saves taxpayers money.” as MomsRising noted, the recession means many women are cutting maternity leaves short. It's crucial that moms who want to pump or breastfeed are able to do so at work. This one page memo provides a great overview of public policy supporting breastfeeding and work: http://wfnetwork.bc.edu/pdfs/minib_breastfeeding.pdf
Finally, I thought this study on the results of employee teleworking from Cisco (see http://www.informationweek.com/news/global-cio/careers/showArticle.jhtml...) was interesting for working mothers. Here's a quote: "In a generally glowing report, the networking company found that telecommuting improved employee productivity, job satisfaction and work-life flexibility. The average Cisco employee spends two days telecommuting each week. "After examining the telecommuting activities of nearly 2,000 of its employees, Cisco has concluded that telecommuting is a win-win-win activity. The study found that telecommuting delivers favorable results in social, economic and environmental areas." This study will hopefully provide ammunition for those who want to try working from home. Anyone proposed such arrangements recently? Results?
