(Moms) Will Work For FREE!

You know those women that you see walking down the street that look like they just got mugged in the subway? Come on, you know the ones... They're usually chasing after a midget that just threw a bowl of wet Cheerios all over her designer sweat pants? Well, let me just give you a little insight as to who these women are, because it's come to my attention that some of you don't think that they have a real job.

PictureThe day typically starts off with a whining child (or two, or THREE, or an army) that doesn't want to get ready for school; and while she attempts to stir a morning coffee, she is greeted by a cat in dire need of attention. Once the cat, dog and any other miscellaneous house pet that she never wanted to have is fed, she go back to prying her kid(s) out of bed. But it doesn't go well. Mean words are muffled from underneath a pile of stuffed animals, and idle threats are being administered, "You've got two seconds to get out of that bed and go eat your breakfast or..."  

"Or WHAT?" *Sighs*

By the time they get moving, it's already time to get dressed, but the kid(s) still haven't eaten their breakfast. So now there's no time for a hot meal and, once again, a Pop Tart is tossed on a plate with a banana. "Hurry up and eat, you've got ten minutes!" But they don't eat; they just pick at the frosting and ignore her persistent demands. "Okay," she begins, "That's it, go brush your teeth!" 

Kid(s): "NO! Make ME!"

Her: "I'm not going to make you, just DO IT!"

Kid(s): "NOT doing it!"

Her: *Grabs arm* "Get in there and get dressed right now or..."

Kid(s): *Cries* "You're the meanest mom EVER!"

Her: "Yes, I am. I'm a horrible mother. Now get dressed!"

But they don't. They just piddle around pretending to put their pants on and find any excuse to notfinish getting ready; which, no doubt, will end up in tears (again). *Nerves shattered* She somehow convinces them to get dressed and brush their teeth, etc., but she still hasn't finished making their lunches or bothered to get herself ready. Then, as she's slipping a tiny treat in the front pocket of one of their lunch boxes, she looks up at the clock and realizes that she should have left three minutes ago. So she yells for them to "Hurry up and put their jacket(s) on," but just as she's about to step out the front door, she is greeted by yet another obstacle... "Mommy, I have to go potty!"

So she waits, and waits... And waits, but he never comes out. In fact, he won't come out and now he's locked to door. "Come on, we're going to be late!" she screams through a small hole above the doorknob, but that only pisses him off. "Stop RUSHING me!" By the time he comes out, they're 15 minutes behind schedule and she realizes that her husband didn't bother to scrape the ice off her windshield. *Scrapes windows* Now they are in the car, but traffic is backed up because she missed the opportunity to avoid the morning rush. So there she sits, on her last nerve; hoping she doesn't have to walk into school (again) wearing pajama bottoms because she was 2 minutes late for carpool. 

Finally, she is child-free and begins her journey back home to try and make sense of it all. But when she gets there, she realizes that there are a few things that need to be done; like pay the bills, check her emails, write her blog and update all of the links and social media sites that no one seems to realize (or care) that she manages because she's not getting paid (yet) to do so. When she's finished with that, she has just enough time to finish the laundry, sweep up the house, take out the trash, schedule a few appointment(s), walk the dog, take a shower, get dressed and swing by the grocery on her way back to the school. And because she can do all of these things and still make it in time for pick-up to "start her day," she is simply labeled a housewife, which apparently implies that she's lazy and doesn't work. 

Welcome to motherhood... The most important job you'll never have!

sassypiehole

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