A Mom's Worst Nightmare

Yesterday started off like any other Saturday. We had a big family breakfast, went on a grocery run and played inside. It was a cold, rainy & lazy day.

 

I went and got Sofia up from her afternoon nap and brought her downstairs. We always hangout on the second floor, in the kitchen. We have a baby gate in the kitchen and one right off the kitchen leading to the basement. We never put up a baby gate to go upstairs, to the 3rd floor, Sofia never pays that flight of stairs much attention.

Sofia and I were both in the kitchen and I saw her walk out from the corner of my eye. I was finishing up what I was doing, which lasted about 15-20 seconds and turned to check on her when BAM! All I heard was a loud thud, I turned the corner as quickly as I could, thinking I would find one of her toys that she had thrown on the ground.

My heart breaks as I type this, I found Sofia laying on the ground. She must have gone up 1 or 2 steps and fell backwards, hitting her head on the hardwood floor. She let out one whimper, I picked her up and she instantly went limp, every part of her body. She wouldn't lift her arms, her head, nothing was moving, no noise was coming from her.

Complete silence.

I waited a few seconds and then panic set in. I walked her downstairs to Mike and she was still not moving and in a total daze, her eyes weren't moving, her breathing was slow. I was losing it inside. We both instantly knew something was wrong. Mike called 911 and we waited for the ambulance to arrive, in reality it probably took them 5 minutes but in my head it felt like eternity, I was begging them to hurry. Every horrible thought was running through my head as my baby girl laid in my arms not moving an inch & not making a peep of noise.

When the paramedics arrived, they tried to check Sofia out and shit hit the fan, she screamed and cried louder than I've ever heard. It was a happy moment, as odd as that sounds. Her reaction meant that she was neurologically functioning normal. These were screams I never thought I would be so grateful to hear.

Sofia and I were strapped into the ambulance bed and transported to the hospital, her vitals were great and things were looking up. Once we got to the hospital they wheeled us into a room and the Dr. came right away. Then out of no where Sofia became 100% herself, miss attitude was pushing the Dr. away. He reassured us that we did the right thing bringing her in, with toddlers you never know if something is wrong since they can't verbalize it and her "out of the norm" behavior after the fall warranted the trip to the ER.

I also had no idea that when a toddler falls, it is completely normal for them to vomit, the Dr. said they aren't alarmed unless they do it 5 times or more.

He told us she was in shock from the fall and that's why she was acting so strange.

Sofia chugged an apple juice (she doesn't drink juice so she was wired the ENTIRE night!!!), got weighed, had her vitals checked & made multiple laps around the ER waving to everyone in sight.

 

The night that I thought was going to be the worst night of my life ended better than I could have ever imagined & this was the same hospital Sofia was born at a year ago, never did I think we would be back a year later in the ER, praying for her to be ok.

 

So there you have it friends, my first major Mom FAIL. As horrible of a Mother that I feel, seeing Sofia's cheesy smile today reassures me that everything is going to be ok. We are going to get through this life together and she will continue to teach me new things everyday (I just hope these life lessons aren't always so scary!).

There was a moment yesterday when my mind stopped, my body stopped, my world stopped, I was running on autopilot until I knew that she was ok.

My heart beats with hers.

Always.

 

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