Money and Friendships

Hi there, my dear non existent readers. I am back. I haven't posted anything in a while because after completing my last post I started having doubts. Of what kind? Well, I started wondering if anybody will even care to read what i have to share here with the ENTIRE WORLD. I started wondering whether i sound witty? or more like  a crazy, lonely lunatic? Is there any point in writing anything here? And I was a bit busy as well, and that played into this whole "is there a point in this all?" dilemma of mine. Remind you, I sometimes am tired and have other things to do just like you-oh my nonexistent reader. So, I am back today. Because this whole week was a bit crazy. Crazy on personal and professional levels. Work was busy and it drained every single drop of energy out of me. Emotionally I was drain as well. A friend of mine, someone we studied with for many years, but whom we have lost touch with since i moved here, contacted me and asked me for money. we are not talking of some small amount of money. we are talking about my  monthly earning. I got confused. I started to think. The fact that I was thinking instead of acting and helping my friend out  made me question my morals. Am I a bad friend? am I a greedy bastard of a friend? On the other hand, he already owes me money. Yes, that's the part that was making me think. I was surprised, because I myself never borrow money from anybody. EVEN family, and even my closest friends. When it comes to money, I hate to show my weaknesses in general. I will decline an invitation to a party stating i am busy, rather than borrowing someone's shoes. I will rather stay home and have a bagel than go out and let a friend pay for me. Because, I am strange like that. So, I of course, would have the hardest time asking someone for money. Not to  mention doing it twice.

 And then I started having really bad(bad, bad, bad, bad) thoughts about my friend and our relationship. I thought that maybe I am a complete sucker? maybe he is using me? am I a nasty friend to think this way? what happened to friendship? putting everyone before monetary gain and other things moral people should think about?? well, obviously, I am not a moral person. Instead, i was wondering whether or not he would pay me the money he already took back. I got a bit nervous. I got worried.

    Just two days ago, I received an email from someone-who is neither a friend nor a lover, nor a family member. we just went to the same school and our parents know each other. He dared to ask me to send him 1500 dollars. 1000 to be exact, as he wrote he "needed originally  somewhere around 1500, but I was able to save up 500 or so" . Now my reader, is this normal to ask someone just because they live abroad for that or any amount of money?  I see it a bit in a different light. I am here all alone, by myself. I do not have a family to help me out, nor I ever ask anyone for help. He-lives in his parents house, with his siblings, parents and all his "la famila". This puts him in a better than me position, doesn't it? never have a got a "how are you? are you ever lonely? how are you feeling today? did you get sick at all last year and did anyone visit you at all?" sort of email or a card. is my frustration justified or am I  just a pity ass, angry individual? I just get upset when people try to use me of make me feel like they want to use me. hmmmmm....comment please.


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