Monsters, INK

SHOULD I DIVORCE THIS MONSTER?… Cut My Ties in order to Stay Afloat! IGNORE SELF DOUBT. The questions that drown a woman’s mind when she really REALLY wants to make a change in her life tend to suck all the air out of her lungs. What if? How will I? What are people going to say? Where will I? These doubts will DESTROY YOU if you don’t know how to STAY STRONG and STAY FOCUSED.

There are SEVERAL NECESSARY REASONS to leave a marriage:

1) SPOUSAL ABUSE:

Physical Abuse: This is NEVER EVER acceptable. Regardless of how long you’ve been dealing with the “SHOVES”, SLAPS, SQUEEZES, HAIR PULLING, PUNCHES, etc…It’s NEVER TOO LATE to LEAVE. LEAVE NOW. Not next week, not tomorrow, not tonight…RIGHT NOW. Grab your kids (if you have them), call Mom, Dad, your Sister, Cousin, Friend and/ or GO TO A BATTERED WOMEN’s SHELTER ASAP. Forget about you material items (those can ALWAYS BE REPLACED). Do NOT drown your mind with QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT. YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT. If you are a Christian, KNOW that GOD DOES NOT condone a husband’s abuse of his wife. Men are instructed to pattern their love for their wives after Jesus’ love for HIS church (Colossians 3:18-19). If you think that your Monster’s abuse is love, read 1 Corinthians 13—which teaches what genuine love is all about and what love IS NOT. Don’t get brainwashed into thinking that because you exchanged VOWS that God will condemn you for leaving a man who gets pleasure out of hurting you, honey. LEAVE THIS MONSTER-HIS INK WILL STAIN YOUR LIFE–LEAVE THIS MONSTER N O W

Verbal Abuse: This is NEVER EVER acceptable. Monsters that use WORDS to make you feel LESS THAN are insecure psychopaths. Don’t excuse this behavior because if you continue to allow it, you will eventually BELIEVE what the MONSTER is saying (This is also called Emotional Abuse). Forget all the arguing (if that’s how you combat this) because you are STILL LOSING. If he degrades you, he will ALWAYS do this, therefore, it’s important that you leave this relationship before things get worse…he may add PHYSICAL ABUSE (If he hasn’t already) soon. You deserve better in your life…Regardless of how you were raised, or despite the fact that your MOTHER let her MONSTERS abuse her (and your excuse is “she lived through it”)—because she didn’t LIVE through it…her heart may still be pumping, but her SOUL is DEAD. If you want to be THAT WOMAN, you need a lot of therapy. If you are tired of BEING THAT WOMAN—LEAVE THIS MONSTER-HIS INK WILL STAIN YOUR LIFE– LEAVE THIS MONSTER N O W

Child Abuse: This is NEVER EVER acceptable. Monsters who PHYSICALLY, EMOTIONALLY, or SEXUALLY hurt your children should be left IMMEDIATELY. There is NO GOOD REASON TO STAY. You are LESS than a mother human if you allow ANYONE to continuously hurt your children. If you’ve allowed this, pack your bags, grab your kids, and GET OUT NOW. Do you know how much DAMAGE this Monster is doing to your children? How his abuse will affect them in their future? They will STRUGGLE in this world because of that MONSTER. They will not be able to form positive, caring, and meaningful relationships in their lives and will possibly become abusers themselves. If you lack the courage to leave this monster because you are worried about money, etc…you should never have given birth to children. But SINCE YOU HAVE ALREADY, GIVE YOUR CHILDREN to relatives if you are too weak to leave—just DON’T allow them to end up like YOU. Of course, I would want YOU to have the courage to LEAVE WITH YOUR CHILDREN. If this MONSTER IS MISTREATING YOUR KIDS, he will/has mistreated you. Have more SELF REPECT and LOVE FOR YOURSELF. START TODAY. RIGHT THE WRONGS…RIGHT NOW…LEAVE THIS MONSTER-HIS INK WILL STAIN YOUR LIFE-LEAVE THIS MONSTER NOW

2) DRUG ADDICTION:

LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE !!!! He is HOPELESS. Yes, I SAID IT. HOPELESS. If you have Children by this MONSTER—TAKE YOUR KIDS AND LEAVE HIM. HE WILL NEVER GET BETTER. YOU WILL ALWAYS RESENT HIM. HE WILL CREATE EMOTIONAL DAMAGE TO YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN. [LEAVE (have I said this enough?) ]HE IS A LEECH. HE IS HOPELESS. DON’T BELIEVE HIM WHEN HE SAYS “HE’S DONE”, OR IT’S “BECAUSE OF HIS STRESSFUL JOB”, OR “BECAUSE OF HIS CHILDHOOD”, OR BECAUSE IT’S A FUN ESSCAPE”, OR “BECAUSE THE SKY IS BLUE TODAY”. IF YOU DON’T LEAVE, YOU WILL CAUSE YOUR CHILDREN TO BE ENABLERS. CHILDREN WHO WILL GROW UP TO ABUSE DRUGS or BECOME SLAVES to OTHER ADDICTS. IF YOU CAN’T FIND THE MOTIVATION WITHIN YOURSELF TO LEAVE THIS LOSER, DO IT FOR YOUR CHILDREN. PLEASE TRUST ME ON THIS. DON’T FEEL SORRY FOR HIM. LEAVE THIS MONSTER –HIS INK WILL STAIN YOUR LIFE—LEAVE THIS MONSTER- N O W (whew! Did that strike a nerve!:-))

3) CHEATING SPOUSE:

No such thing as “ONLY ONCE”. He doesn’t respect you and He WILL do it again…because once he got a “taste” of Pandora’s Box (or Ginger’s box), AND LIVED, he knows that sleeping with another woman was very REAL and very POSSIBLE (because he DID IT)—he crossed that line. And don’t believe him if he tells you that IT WASN’T GOOD—because regardless of how the actually SEX ACT was—you know what was really good to him?? THE TABOO OF IT. GETTING AWAY WITH DOING SOMETHING THAT HE SHOULDN’T HAVE. And yes, HE DID get away with it…EVEN IF he got caught…the moment of time he spent with HER was a PLEASURABLE EXPERIENCE FOR HIM. He loved it and WILL WANT MORE. He also exposed you to STD’s which is VERY SERIOUS. He broke your vows and if you KEEP HIM, you will spend your life miserable—wondering WHERE he is when he’s 10 minutes late, WHO is he talking to when he hangs up when you enter the room, WHY is he working out now, wearing new cologne now, smiling more, more loving now, less loving now, taking courses out the college, breathing differently…you get my point. LEAVE THIS MONSTER-HIS INK WILL STAIN YOUR LIFE- LEAVE THIS MONSTER NOW

4) SPENDING ALL YOUR MONEY:

If being HOMELESS is not appealing, you cannot go another SIX months is this financial hell. Whether he has a job or not, he is spending YOUR LIFE AWAY. If he doesn’t understand the meaning of SAVINGS then SAVE YOUR OWN LIFE. You will be broke and on the streets—or just living check to check—which is BROKE. Is this the kind of life that you want? His SPENDING ADDICTION is deeply rooted into a hard ground that YOU DON’T HAVE TIME OR EXPERIENCE IN BREAKING THROUGH. Consider the FINANCIAL RUIN that will encompass your life if you stay. He will OPPRESS you by LOWERING YOUR CREDIT SCORES AND PILING ON DEBT SO HEAVY that you won’t ever see the light of day. LEAVE THIS MONSTER-HIS INK WILL STAIN YOUR LIFE-LEAVE THIS MONSTER N ow

Let me just add that these are not the ONLY reasons to divorce—just a few that stand out in my mind. I know plenty of people who have gone through divorce because of the issues above. My personal experience is with Monster #2. I am so relieved to be out of that situation. It was one of– IF NOT THE BEST decisions that I’ve ever made in my life (DIVORCE). Because I made the decision, his INK STAIN was not permanent—only a BLOTCH –and every second of every minute of every hour of every day that goes by, that BLOTCH is continuously diluted with my DESIRE FOR CHANGE, ACCOUNTABILITY FOR MY HAPPINESS and SELF LOVE –which is more POWERFUL than rubbing alcohol or fingernail polish remover will EVER BE.

STAY STRONG / STAY FOCUSED

(This is an article from my website) www.improvestellasgroove.com

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