More Evidence that Christmas Music is Depressing
"A child shivers in the cold; let us bring him silver and gold." Yeah, usually when I hear that a child is freezing to death in the desert, my first inclination is to bring him silver and gold. You know, because a blanket isn't the kind of present you give Jesus unless the blanket is made of silver and gold, which would be an excellent insulator and it's also pretty posh. It would be heavy, but Jesus couldn't suffocate or get crushed because ... Well, he's Jesus!
Some may say that this lyric is evidence that Christmas has always been about materialism, at least since this song was written, unless the songwriter had it all wrong and Jesus really did get a blanket instead of silver and gold for his birthday, but regardless, I think material things are important if you want to maintain your status as the most important baby on the desert.
If Jesus grew up and decided he was too practical for a silver and gold blanket, he could have pawned it for some money or a furnace or he could have given it to one of his dinosaur friends to use as a really bling handkerchief. Here, I rewrote the lyrics to the tune of "Do You Hear What I Hear?"
Said the donkey to the three wise men:
"I hear he wants a bling blanket!"
The wise men deliberated for a little moment:
"Yes, I'm sure he'd love it!"
A pool, a pool of money for the bling
the child will be so happy that he will sing
yes he'll sing with the voice of a bling king.
Said the wise men to the desert jeweler:
"Do you think you could make this into a blanket?"
Said the jeweler to the three wise men:
"Of course I can, I'm a jeweler!"
A child, a child, shivers in the cold let us bring him a blanket made of silver and gold,
Let us bring him a blanket made of silver and gold.
Said Mary to the little donkey,
"You put the wise men up to this didn't you?"
Said the donkey to angry Mary,
"This is for letting me starve."
They fought, they fought, long into the night
While Jesus rocked his bling while he slept snug and tight.
While he rocked his bling, sleeping snug and tight.
I blog about the arts and health and disability issues regularly at http://loveablehomebody.blogspot.com/
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