The Mother of All Days
I have mixed feelings about Mother’s Day. On the negative side, it only pays lip service to a vital function many women perform and for which their society does not compensate them, and for which they take a serious hit in the labor market. Moreover, women who don’t want children, or cannot have children, may feel marginalized and/or hurt. I only want to hurt people who are twatwaffles; I don’t like accidently hurting anyone else.
On the positive side, I got breakfast in bed and waited on like a Queen yesterday, so, ya know, YAY!
Then there are a certain amount of mixed messages about what makes a “good” mother, and the fact that you never, EVER feel like you are doing everything “right”. There are even a mixed messages about how much you are supposed to love your kids and how much you are supposed to devote yourself to them.
On one hand, society judges the shit out of women who hate being moms and wish they had never done it. Frankly, even I curl my lip a bit (just like I do at deadbeat dads) because I think that parenting is the one job where your needs are NOT the first priority. Kids know when they aren’t loved and a parent is responsible for the mental/emotional/physical well being of another human being. There are no “backsies” so all parents should suck it up. Although there are some women who do hate being moms, I think that many of the women with regrets actually hate the isolation and burden of parenthood in a non-parental adapted culture, not motherhood per se.
On the other hand, woe unto me if I am as devoted to my kids as greeting cards suggest I should be. Apparently being a loving Mom is good, but I must remember my first allegiance in the patriarchy is to the patriarch, and I am committing "abominable idolatry" if I love my children more or put their needs first. It is totes my fault if Sweet Babou cheats on me because I should have pampered a grown-ass man before the minor children who depend on me. Um, how about his role as Father? Sweet Babou loves the kids “more” and puts their needs first; do I get to cheat on him?
Yep. Pastor Det Bowers, a dipshit tea bagger who has joined the tea bagging throng hoping to unseat Lindsey Graham because GOP stalwart Graham is too “liberal”, thinks that women loving kids too much is the root of d.i.v.o.r.c.e. Yes, Det Bowers (only in the South do you get these names, people) said in a sermon which he claimed “was a reflection of what he learned counseling married couples” that:
“It is an abominable idolatry to love your children more than you love your husband, and it will ruin your marriage … And yet you blame it on him because he ran off with some other woman! … He did run off with some other woman, and you packed his bags. All of his emotional bags, you packed for him. Is that true in every case? No, but it's true in the vast preponderance of them. You just ran him off. You paid more attention to your children than you did to him .."Oh, he doesn't need me?” He needs you more than they do. He chose you, they didn't. An abominable idolatry."
Men are such spoilt big babies that they get jealous of their own children? No, they don’t. MEN love their families TOO and co-parent. The only people who are too weeny to handle the fact kids need more attention than adults are skanky asshats who aren’t men in any real meaning of the word. Here, I am particularly thinking of Sorcha’s narcissistic ex-husband, Priss Pot.
Now, I am off to fill my day with more “abominable idolatry”. To go out on a happy note, here is seriously cute picture of twin girls holding hands just after they emerged from the womb.