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Over the summer one of my daughter’s best friends moved to South America for the year. When her parents gave my daughter’s friend, I’ll call her Serena, the news about moving, Serena threw clothes into a backpack, stormed down to the busy San Francisco street and jumped on a bus–with her dad following in close pursuit, of course. For months, anytime they brought up the subject of South America, Serena would cross her arms and stomp out of the room.
When they arrived in South America, Serena’s attitude did not change. Even after months, she continued to refuse invitations from potential new friends. In desperation, her mom began emailing me to see how my daughter might support Serena via email and Skype phone contact.
Although I’ve always liked this mom, I’ll call her Adora, our relationship has mostly consisted of 10 minute conversations sandwiched between chauffering our girls back and forth to our perspective homes. Adora’s committment to her daughter created a opportunity for us to connect in a whole new way. Through email, we took turns brainstorming about ways to support Serena while recognizing the universality of this moment as our girls took another step into adolescence. Interwoven into the exchange was constant free flowing empathy for each other as mothers trying to help our daughters navigate growing up.
At the end of one email instead of a customary Thanks, Good Luck or Hugs, Adora wrote,
In motherhood,
I liked that. Of course, I promptly asked her if I could pass it on and in the motherhood spirit, she graciously said yes.
So to all of us who show up every day to mother our children the best way we know how, I send warm oceans of gratitude.
In motherhood,
Staci
