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Let's face it. Motherhood is tough. It doesn't matter if you live in a small town in the middle of no where or in the bright lights of Hollywood. Whether you have very little money or enough to throw around carelessly. The act of motherhood in and of itself is tough. It is for that reason that it is vital that mothers have a support system. A group of people in her life that can lift her up when she is low. People who can ground her when she is losing it. A support system that will stand by her in both good times and bad and offer support, advice and guidance. For many women one of those people that is so integral in her life is her own mother. That is not, however, always the case. Sometimes women do not have mothers they can count on or who are even around to be able to call upon when needed. Which is why a support system should be an integral part of every mother's life.
My own mother was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis before my first son was born. At first, she was there as a mentor. But as the years went on and the the disease took its toll, I lost that mentor. Rather than floating above the realm of reality or getting bogged down in the depths of despair, I reached out to other women. Women I respected, admired and trusted. I cannot imagine where I would be if I did not have the women in my life who loved me enough to call me on the things in my life--in my parenting-- that could have been detrimental to me or to my children. They were like tethers in my life. I was able to fly solo and be the Mom I knew how to be, but when I drifted too far off course, they were able to reign me in with a gentle tug and a supportive hand. It made all the difference in the world to me. It literally saved my life.
But what about Moms who do not have that? What about the Moms who do not have people around them who are willing and able to say, "You are way off course here. You have to get help!" What about the women who are surrounded by people who either encourage erratic behavior or just don't have the gumption to say, "ENOUGH! Look at your life and look at your children! You will lose them if you do not get help!"
Look at Britney Spears.
It doesn't take the recent court ruling stating that she must hand over custody of her sons to Kevin Federline this week "until further order of the court" to see that perhaps this Mom is in trouble. That certainly was not the first sign that she was in trouble. Where were her lifelines? Her tethers? Her mentors? If ever there is a need for stable people in a person's life, it is in Hollywood. How many of us watched this train wreck long before it came down to this? How many of us shook our heads at the entire situation as it was plastered all over the front page of tabloids, magazines and "entertainment news" shows? But who stepped forward and helped this struggling Mom?
But, I could be wrong. Maybe she had no one to remind her that she had to do it since her lawyer, manager, parents and a handful of friends and employees had either turned on her or abandoned her completely. (emphasis mine)
Some folks just don’t like riding on trains in which the next stop is a brick wall.
We have all made mistakes. Some minor and common. Some that are huge and life changing. Either way, we have all made mistakes in out mothering. Every. Single. One. Of. Us. Who do you turn to? Do you have a support system? A mentor? Someone who
