Motherhood: The OTHER Dementia.

It seems like I’ve been in a tunnel lately, like everything is moving in one direction except me, and I’m just standing there waiting to get hit head on. But as I stand there squinting to see what’s up ahead, a thick puff of dark smoke replaces my 20/200 vision and keeps me from knowing whatever hit me. And then I remember... 
I wanted kids.Picture
So far today, I’ve lost the mouth guard that keeps me from grinding my frazzled teeth down to a nub every night, the dog’s $35 leash–equipped with Martha Stewart designer poo bags, and theScooby-Doo movie that my daughter was JUST WATCHING!

There was a time when I could walk into a room and actually remember what I came in to get; I didn’t get confused from tripping over a stuffed animal or distracted by a million questions about insects, I just went in and got it–like a person with a functioning brain. Then one day, my luck ran out and the anal-retentive, control freak that everyone had grown to despise had now been replaced by a lesser-organized and painfully forgetful version of my old self. And though some might applaud this dynamic shift in humanity, I am resolved to accept the tragic loss of the girl who always got shit done and never left a wallet full of money on the counter at Trader Joe’s during Christmas (thanks for not snaking that $50 when you chased me out to my car “cashier dude,” you deserve a raise)!

The sad part of all is that it’s only going to get worse. I’m not going to wake up tomorrow morning, leap out of bed with all the enthusiasm of a 26-year-old on a first date and magically remember where I put that fucking can of chickpeas last night. And the likelihood of me ever finding the insurance card that I know I left on my desk is minimal, at best. But there will come a day when the constant pinging in my ear that tells me I need to find something will subside into a dreamy, contemptuous whisper...

Who gives a shit? Go back to bed... And that's exactly what I'll do.

sassypiehole

Comments

In order to comment on BlogHer.com, you'll need to be logged in. You'll be given the option to log in or create an account when you publish your comment. If you do not log in or create an account, your comment will not be displayed.