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Today, in honor of Mother’s Day, I did a bit of research on its origin and meaning. Here is what I found out: Mother’s Day was set aside for the appreciation of mothers, motherhood, and maternal bonds in general, but neither the history of Mother’s Day (which had its roots in a woman’s peace movement bent on recognizing and uniting mothers whose sons had died in war), nor the present commercialization of Mother’s Day, can illuminate its protocol. For that, it seems we have to go with our gut.
When I was growing up and, indeed, up until my mother passed away three years ago, it was up to us, her children and grandchildren, to mark her special day with a visit (or when distance prohibited it, some form of communication and appreciation). My own children could celebrate my Mother’s Day all they wanted to, but the inclusion and appreciation of my mother (and their grandmother) on that day was never in doubt. And, the entire family would be in attendance, so we could shower appreciation on all of the mothers. When my husband’s mother was alive, we would do the same. Even without a written protocol, we knew instinctively it was the right way to mark the day.
Now, I’m not so sure things still work the same way. Often I think mothers of my generation are taken for granted. It may well be that we are guilty of coddling our children too much and leading them to believe that we exist only for their benefit. (I will refer you to an article entitled, “You Are Not the Center of the Universe. You’re Welcome. by Christy Duffy in which she details the making of a narcissist.) In any case, the appreciation and respect for the “senior” mother may be in doubt as the younger generation strives to please itself; and without a written protocol, the new "go with your gut" reaction may give us “seniors” a stomach ache.
Question: Do you feel you’ve been appreciated on Mother’s Day?
