For Mother's Day I Got You This Water Buffalo



So I read this USA Today story about Mother’s Day gift ideas that give back. I took it as a suggestion that in lieu of jewelry or flowers or whatever it was you were planning on getting at 11:59 p.m. the night before, you instead give a gift of, say, a mosquito net for a family in Africa in my name. I’m supposed to melt with compassion and pride that my child has thought of others instead of me, and think it’s the greatest Mother’s Day gift ever.


Apparently I’m the worst person on Earth, because my initial, gut reaction was: WHAT?! All I do is GIVE to you family people, what with your constant need for food, shelter, love, Band-Aids, someone to get the booger off your finger — and on the one day you are supposed to think about ME for a change, you get somebody else a gift?!

I know, I suck. But you thought it too, didn’t you? Of course you did. Because it’s our DAY.



Summer Embee,

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