Your opening paragraph has no factual basis. The rules apply for all members of the armed forces. If you are a parent, it is your duty to make sure that your family is prepared for you to deploy (or to be called into work at any moment.)

This applies to everyone, male and female - single or married.

To suggest, without any statistics to back it up, that this would not have happened to a man is taking the cry of "partriarchy" a wee bit too far, even for me.

I also take issue with this:

(and, Morra’s note, the Hyde Amendment that rules that no federal funds be used to pay for abortions means she would have had few options had she wanted to terminate the pregnancy, anyway. She had to keep the baby, and she had to provide for the baby. She is mother and provider.)

While I'm a huge supporter of federal funds for abortion, she did have options. She could have paid for her abortion out of her own pocket, as many women do. She could also have given her child up for adoption. I'm not faulting her for NOT doing either one of those, I support her choice to carry to term and parent her child. But your suggestion that she had few choices is false. She had the same choices that any other woman has.

A family care plan is required for a very good reason - to prevent a parent from having to deploy and leave a child without care. To be a parent without a legitimate care plan is outrageous. When her mother originally agreed to be on the care plan, did she not then realize just what that meant? Did she think it was just a piece of paper and it would never happen? What, exactly, were these women thinking? The US Army deploys people. Even when we aren't fighting war(s).

I've been the person listed on family care plans for single soldiers (both single moms and single dads.)  I've taken care of children when their parents were deployed. One child in particular lived with my family more than she lived with her mom during a rough year in Panama. Her mom also made sure that if something had happened and I was not able to care for her child - there was a back up to me. And I believe there was a third back up, just in case.  At the time, I took it for granted that every single parent in the military did this. Apparently not.

It's a difficult situation to be in. I realize that. But, when you join the military you're told that you may be deployed quickly and you MUST have a family care plan in place - they mean it. You must do this or you put your child at risk - not to mention your career.

It's impossible to know what type of assistance her unit provided to her prior to this incident. She may not have asked for more help. She may have asked for help and not received it. She may have asked for help and then not taken it. At this point, I can't fault the US Army. They followed orders.

~Denise BlogHer Community Manager
Flamingo House Happenings

I'm faulting a social system in which the way we work and parent has changed, but the support systems in place, be they civilian or military, have not.

I looked up what an Army Specialist makes- roughly $24k a year, it seems. That doesn't leave you with many options...

Morra Aarons-Mele
www.womenandwork.org

I can fault the ARMY, because this story made my blood run cold and tears fill my eyes.

When I was 18, I was a single teen mom. I tested very well on the ASVAB, and was recruited very hard by the Army, AF, and especially the NAVY.

Not a single one blinked when I said that I had an infant daughter at home, and was unmarried. The words I heard all the time, even when I asked who would take care of my daughter if I were to be deployed was "There are lots of single mothers in the military, we take care of our own."

I felt in my core then that it was too risky to sign papers and take that as truth, and this shows me that my intuition may have been correct. I felt a strong desire and call to serve, but couldn't imagine leaving my daughter behind.

Denise of course raises some good points, there was probably more the mother could have done to prepare for this situation. But I was assured that me worrying about the affects on my young daughter if I were to be deplolyed were unfounded. They're obviously were not

This isn't just a woman's issue in the military. Single fathers also face this problem as do joint spouse couples (these are parents who are both active duty, and may not even be in the same branch of the armed forces).

There are quite a few moving pieces when it comes to deployments. I have encountered many instances when communication  breakdown is the culprit. However, I have also encountered my fair share of hardass commanders who have a "it sucked for me, so it will suck for you" mentality. I've also known soldiers to avoid their careplan for the purpose of evading deployment. Then again, I have known soldiers whom have put a careplan together only to find out the folks they designated have had a change in circumstance and are no longer able to care for their child.

This is the first I've heard of the military placing a child in foster care due to a failed family care plan. My husband has been active duty for 22 years, so I think I've been around the block a time or two. Not to say it doens't happen, obviously it does. 

I think this situation brings to light that this war is stressful on families and we need appropriate programs and services for military members who deploy and servicemembers and their families must be able to access these programs and services easily and quickly.

While the typical military family in the past was identified as "active duty" and their wife/husband and kids, we now have a much broader pool of people which includes National Guard and Reservists, their families and their extended families and friends. Because the reality is that some service members don't have family members who are able to take on the responsibility for childcare while they are deployed and often these folks rely on "chosen families" who could be located anywhere in the world.

As these wars progress, more "Purple" services are being developed, meaning there is a concentrated effort across the Department of Defense to make services and programs equally available to each branch of service.  But like any govermental undertaking, it's going to be slow and bumpy until it's well underway.

But to the military's credit, they are addressing mental health issues in ways they had never done even 10 years ago. I would hate for one awful situation to make is appear as if the military is utterly unresponsive. They are trying, but it's really a new world for them in many ways and I think we do need to give acknowledgement to their efforts, even if they aren't perfect.  But coming from 22 years of experience, specifically working with military families for much of it, and being one myself, I see progress being made.

 www.parentopia.com/blog