Moving... On...

Well, I signed the lease today and faxed it over to the owner. It doesn't feel real, but I am moving, in 5 days. Here I go-tears starting to flow. I am leaving a wretched time in my life and home full of memories I want to forget ever happened. I loved her. I cared for her. I lost myself helping to save her life though. She was so different in the end. I still hear her yelling... name calling... I wake up each night scared that she is on her way home from a long night at work, and will be taking it out on me when she walks in the door-then I remember she is gone. But she is out there somewhere. It terrifies me. 

This move means to much more to me than a new roof over my head. It is a fresh start. I can learn to love myself again and rebuild my foundation. Find my voice. Breathe again...

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