Moving Across the Country: Handling the Shock

It depends on the size of your UHaul. You can call the UHaul folks and ask them how big the tank is for your truck. Then, look at the estimated mpg for the truck you've rented. Estimate low but not too low.

We drove the largest truck UHaul sells 1200 miles and got between 8-10 mpg, which was better than I expected. It still cost a lot of money for gas, $100-150 every time we stopped, but we budgeted for it and it was fine.

Good luck, and don't worry. It will all work out fine but please come back and tell me about the experience. :-)

~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager

Flamingo House Happenings ( http://www.flamingohouse.net/ )

It's nice to see that others have also went through this process. I just married a man who is in the military a couple of months ago. I am currently living in San Francisco, CA however I am going to be moving to Virginia Beach, VA in a month and a few days. We are going to be driving all of my belongings in a uhaul type truck and towing my car as well. One thing I am somewhat afraid of is just having to fill up gas many many times and not really knowing how much to expect to spend. Anyone have any ideas on this?

Mrs Rand

Hey Denise....

First, I think you'll love Chicago.

I've visited it several times and then lived there last fall for 6 mos (never left after blogher actually).

As a single woman writer, I adored the creativity and venues for public self expression..there are countless avenues to pursue to go hear others' or promote yourself....You will enjoy that aspect I"m sure...

As for reacclimating ....it's an opportunity for your family/children to get their arms around how our 'selves' go with us wherever we do...and while meeting new friends and getting used to things is sometimes hard at first....it's doable and inevitable...

In all my moves, I've learned that the constants that stay with us: our love for ourselves and one another, the things that make us feel safe and secure...we take anywhere.

I'm right now in Dallas helping my sister move. Her only regret is all the things she thought she'd do in this home. So it's upped the ante on things that are really goals that she wants to stop 'waiting' to start striving toward accomplishing...

You may even find that you'll learn more about your own goals and your children will too....

What a beautiful place to be resettling to.

Can't wait to hear about it...

Meanwhile, patience helps..and flexibility....and being able to just develop a sense of routine amidst all the chaos.

Have fun. And make it fun. Maybe video the packing process and have one of your kiddos blog about it :)

Enjoy...Tre~

It seemed tough back then, but looking back now I realize the amount of trust he had in me, and the value of the responsibility he gave me.  I didn't realize he was grooming me to be self-efficient and he taught me the importance of hard work.

I can't say I'd want to do that again, but I appreciate what he taught me.  Like plumbing and painting and how to use a caulk gun.  ;)

Do you have friends/family in the Chicagoland area?  Are you and the fam moving to the great unknown?  I think it's exciting, despite all the stress that it may bring on.  Hang in there! :) 

(I'm only four hours north of Chi-Town and try to make my annual pilgrimmage to visit family and friends.  It's a great city.  Lots to do and see.) 

When we moved from Utah to New York, then New York back to Utah (husband was looking for a program he liked at university), we started packing EARLY. Because, unlike our in-town moves over the years, we couldn't make multiple trips for stuff. I started putting the non-essentials in boxes about two months ahead of time, and every night packed three or four boxes. It really took some of the stress away.

We also liked using ABF. You pack up a truck, and they drive your stuff. They were honest both times we used them, and things worked beautifully. And we didn't have to worry about driving the truck. Which can be a real pain. Instead, we were free to site see along the way, and we didn't have to worry about finding parking spaces at the hotels.

One nice thing about moving is that we always get rid of stuff we don't need. We donate it to the thrift shop or sell it. Leaves more room in the new house :)

Good luck with your move!

The bad news is you'll be closer to Oprah.

The good news is you'll be able to get me tickets! :)

As far as house hunting, I second the fireplace suggestion and I'm a big fan of porches.

Good luck!

Megan
BlogHer Contributing Editor, TV/YouTube ( http://www.blogher.com/blog/msmith )
Megan's Minute ( http://www.megansminute.com/ )
Video Runway ( http://www.womenonwomenblog.com/megan/ )

Thanks for remembering too! Great! ( http://www.youtube.com )

I have experienced that military moving company dance many many times.

~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager

Flamingo House Happenings ( http://www.flamingohouse.net/ )

Thanks for remembering! I barely remembered that one, and I had to go back and double check to make sure I didn't leave any typos in it!

I remembered your post from all that time ago, so when I went to write mine today - I had to track that down. I was feeling all of that move stuff with you, I really was.

:-)

~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager

Flamingo House Happenings ( http://www.flamingohouse.net/ )

We were lucky enough to attend BlogHerCon last summer in Chicago with Michelle and Prince J - he loved it, she didn't. He had a blast at Navy Pier, she didn't. She enjoyed the shopping, he didn't but he did appreciate the Apple store, lol. (We don't have one here.)

There really are many, many things to do in the area and we're working very hard to spin that positively. One small problem - the younger children are very well traveled and museums are boring - but that's another story entirely.

~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager

Flamingo House Happenings ( http://www.flamingohouse.net/ )

Fireplace, check!

Bikes errr no, I have a bike issue but bike paths make me happy and I was pleasantly surprised by all of the ones I've seen in the area we will be living.

We are trying very hard to get rid of stuff and start fresh - it's hard because we have a lot of family pieces that someone does not want to let go of. (that someone is not me)

I really prefer moving with babies and toddlers - moving with middle schoolers and high schoolers is a nightmare but we will all survive and I'm sure the kids will grow into their new environment. The younger ones do not remember Michelle's angst about Florida and that angst was HUGE. So she's a good role model for them - she hated that first year (or two) and now she loves it here.

I hope to see you in person some time soon!

~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager

Flamingo House Happenings ( http://www.flamingohouse.net/ )

BOOO for packing and loading and lifting and all of the crap that goes along with moving.

I agree about winter! Just stay home. :-) That's what I did, although I blamed it on the fact that I didn't want to take the baby out in the cold.  Brrrrrrr  I am longing for some HEAT, and somehow, I just don't think it's going to happen on the CA Central Coast!

Thanks for linking me though! And good luck with the move!

I understand how awful it is to have to move.  We've done it 5 times in the past 11 years.  Hopefully the last time was 5 months ago.  We still haven't finished unpacking yet!  But, I did want to say:  Welcome to Chicago!!  It's a great place to live.  My husband & I both grew up here and decided to move back to raise our kids here.  The public school system in the suburbs is excellent.  There are lots of fun things to do with the kids:  Shedd Aquarium, Morton Arboretum, Field Museum, Museum of Science & Industry, Adler Planetarium, Art Institute of Chicago.  Navy Pier has a giant ferris wheel and the Chicago Children's Museum.  In the summertime, they show fireworks at Navy Pier twice a week and have free outdoor concerts at Millenium Park.  In the winter, there's Winter Wonderfest at Navy Pier and the Magnificent Mile is filled with lights.  You'll love it!  

Congratulations! I moved to Chicago last summer, and my family loves it here! Granted, we were in the Midwest to start already, but I cannot say enough good things about my new town.

Moving advice (because we sold everything and just started from scratch):

1. Get a place with a fireplace! Winters are cold - but beautiful and cozy and tolerable with a fireplace!

2. Bring your bikes; the Lakeshore/Lincoln Park bike paths are a lot of fun!

3. Research schools EARLY! If you live in the city, the school system is quite a maze.

4. Just go with it! We were flying by the seat or our pants most of the time and still survived.

5. Kids WILL acclimate...eventually. Our three year old had quite a time of it. I think it was around the holidays and New YEars when she finally settled in.

My husband and I were both surprised at how soon we felt Chicago was our home. I hope your family feels the same way!

Lara

Notions of Identity ( http://www.blogher.com/notionsofidentity.blogspot.... ) 

No, the key is not layering - the key is Denise is not leaving the house from November through March. ;-)

As for winter sports - Prince J does not DO sports, lol. The girls are interested in skiing and have some interest in skating but they are swimmers and are hoping to be able to continue that via indoor pool.

~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager

Flamingo House Happenings ( http://www.flamingohouse.net/ )

I am really looking forward to meeting your parents! Heh, what kind of people raised you? I bet they are awesome and fascinating human beings. I want to buy them blizzards or banana splits or something.

~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager

Flamingo House Happenings ( http://www.flamingohouse.net/ )

Why didn't I know that you live in the area?! Yay! I'm adding you to my list of "local peeps"!

~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager

Flamingo House Happenings ( http://www.flamingohouse.net/ )

The internet has helped with that whole friendship thing, for me and my older kids. And, I'll just be really honest and admit that it's been a long time since I formed really strong bonds with members of my local community. The few connections that I have here, in Gainesville, will carry over thanks to blogs and twitter and flickr and whichever tools are developed over the next few years.

Moving to another country while pregnant or becoming pregnant shortly after such a move is... difficult and troubling on levels that I don't even want to remember. We are strong, brave souls to have lived through that. :-)

~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager

Flamingo House Happenings ( http://www.flamingohouse.net/ )

I have often thought that I should have bought some sort of apartment complex when I moved here and set my kids up in just that way - to have them live in one while they renovate it and move to another. Heh.

~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager

Flamingo House Happenings ( http://www.flamingohouse.net/ )

First, good luck. And welcome to the neighborhood -- I'm just 6-7 hours north in Minneapolis and am actually driving to Chicago this weekend because of work related stuff on Monday.  Do you need me to do anything while I'm there?

Since you are a pro at moving from your years in the military -- I certainly don't need to give you advice on the packing stuff -

-the weather will be a huge adjustment and I encourage you to have your kids learn winter sports. And remember its all about layering.

 Looking forward to following your journey.

elana
Blogher Contributing Editor,Business&CareersFunnyBusiness ( http://funnybusiness.typepad.com/funnybusiness )

I lived in the same house until I went to college. This is the same house that happens to be within two miles of your new one, so welcome to my former neighborhood! I'm looking forward to a Dairy Queen run with you when I am visiting my folks in July.

Suzanne Reisman ( http://blogher.org/member/suzanne ), Contributing Editor - Feminism & Gender ( http://blogher.org/topic/feminism-gender )
Campaign for Unshaved Snatch (CUSS) & Other Rants ( http://cussandotherrants.com/ )

Welcome to Chicago!  I'm in a western suburb and we moved three times within the same town.  I was surprised that the kids took it hard simply because they were leaving the memories and the house behind.

Hoping you have a smooth move!

Karen "Life is too short to pout all the time." A Deaf Mom Shares Her World ( http://www.putzworld.blogspot.com ) Hands & Voices ( http://www.handsandvoices.org )

I moved from Israel to the U.S. ten years ago, but we didn’t have kids back then, and not a lot of stuff. It was mostly difficult because I got pregnant right after we moved, and had to go through that first pregnancy without the immediate support of my mom and my two best friends. I think you had a similar experience with your pregnancies.

We haven’t moved since, but a big part of our reality here is friends who relocated over here from Israel and are relocating back after a few years of building a life here, raising a family, establishing friendships and buying stuff.

All of the families that I met here and relocated back to Israel adjusted beautifully, both ways. It usually takes a few months, but as a friend recently told me, “it’s great that we are all able to settle down in a new place, and into a new routine, and make new friends. But in a way, it’s also sad that social connections that are such a big part of your life at some point, dim and fade away so quickly and are left behind while new, local friendships are being formed, only to fade away in a few years, when you move again”.

Vered DeLeeuw
www.momgrind.com ( http://www.momgrind.com )

When I was in college I moved five times in four years. Granted, it was just to a different apartment in the same block...my father owned the complex and made me move after I fixed up each place. That was how I paid the rent. But it still sucked.

The first time I packed everything nicely and neatly into labeled boxes. The last time I moved things were thrown into trash bags and disorganized boxes, probably because I grew tired of packing. (An added bonus was that I didn't buy a lot of stuff because I knew I'd be moving at the end of the year.)

One embarrasing experience I had moving was after I got married. I had forgotten about a vibrator that was given to me at my bachelorette party. I had it stashed in a shoe box and it fell out when my mother was helping me pack. She says to me, "I didn't know they made glow in the dark candles."

I was mortified. I just said, "Yeah...someday I'll have to burn that."

I still don't know if she knew what it really was or was trying to pretend she didn't know.

Good luck with the move. If I can think of any REAL advice, I'll send it your way. ;)