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Greetings, Blogher community! First post, have to admit to being a little nervous as I begin. I've decided to blog about my life because I know that my challenges are shared by an increasing number of women so I thought I'd start to talk about them here and see what happens. What I'm hoping for, eventually, are responses and comments that help all of us who find ourselves in my situation - not by design, but just because life is like that sometimes.
I am a "breadwinner wife." I've coined the term "Accidental Alpha" to describe what I am, because my role as sole breadwinner was not what I "signed up for." That said, if my family has to be taken care of, I will do whatever is necessary to ensure their happiness, security and safety. But isn't that the fundamental role of a mother?
My confusion, resentment, exhaustion, etc. arises from the fact that, for quite a number of years now, my previously strong and wildly successful husband has been aimless, purposeless - incomeless. For mostly good reasons, my husband had to close down the business he ran very successfully. I had no issue with that - I totally agreed that it was time. But I never dreamed that he'd flounder and procrastinate and struggle as he has ever since then. It's been about seven years now....not sure exactly, because knowing that would definitely not help my state of mind.
I married a charismatic, creative, brilliant, quirky, innovative entrepreneur. He's not around any more. In his place is man who is not sure who he is and what he wants to be, and in the meantime seems to think it's okay for me to work long days to bring in enough money to support him and our two children.
Those of you who are in this situation - and I know there are lots of you - can relate to the issues. Money, division of domestic responsibilities, parenting, sex - it's quite a list. And despite the fact that I absolutely love what I do for a living and would likely do it even if money weren't an issue, I never in a million years would have expected to be shouldering the entire financial responsibility myself.
So here we are. More posts to follow, and if you'd like to share thoughts on how to survive and thrive as a breadwinner wife, I'd sure love to hear from you.
