Musings of a fat, pregnant lady

I am convinced that I am a lucky woman.  I was diagnosed with non hodgkins lymphoma 9 months ago while i was 22 weeks pregnant.  I had been told it would be difficult for me to get pregnant AND I was a 35 year old, obese smoker.  Talk about the odds being against you!  I became symptomatic at 3 months pregnant.  I saw multiple doctors...the answer was the same.  I was told I was fat and pregnant and that's why I couldn't breathe.  As it turns out, it actually was a grapefruit sized tumor that was occluding my superior vena cava and causing shortness of breath, facial swelling and enormous discomfort.  I was asked by the doctors if i would consider terminating my pregnancy.  I refused.  I had waited way too long for this miracle baby.  She and I endured a heart surgery, chemotherapy as well as the constant threat of losing her.  I was told she would be born early if she even survived.  I am so blessed to report that my beautiful daughter was born at 37 weeks (full term) at 6 lb, 3 oz and is perfectly healthy.  She is the most amazing thing that has ever happened in my life and she continues to bring such joy to me.  I can't remember who I really was before her but I am convinced she has made me a better person.  Needless to say, this experience shook me to my core and made me question everything I thought I knew.  I still haven't got all the answers and probably never will but my focus is different now.  I have a renewed faith in God as well as a deeper understanding of a mother's love.  Thank God my mother has been here throughout, as well as the rest of my family, to encourage and support me.  Lucky me.


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