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I am beauty obsessed. Others collect stamps, spoons and postcards; I collect articles related to beauty and beauty products. This is a testament to my lack of beauty, otherwise, I wouldn't need to read up on how to be more of what I already am. I took a sociology of gender course in college, and a majority of the subject matter was about how appearances, particularly for women, relate to their social heirarchy and status. I know: I should be obsessing about other things, such as genocide in Africa or global warming. For some reason though, while I DO obsess about the 'big' things, I am most entranced by the way appearances have an affect on our every day lives. For example, my niece, Anna Louise, was just born 13 days ago, nearly a month premature. She is tiny: 4lbs.13oz, 19in. long. In the past 13 days, we have been doing all we can to fatten her up, to help her gain weight, to ensure that she is healthy. She is beautiful to me; born via c-section, her little head doesn't have the conic shape so telling of vaginal births. Her eyes are bright and her nose is pert, sitting above her heart shaped mouth with regality. She will be so cute as she gets older. Looking at her got me wondering: if we could only see what we started out looking like, and what we would end up looking like after a well-lived life, would we care so much what our appearances were right now? If, like those anti-smoking commercials touted, we could see our insides, would it change our view of the outside? "Gee Jane, what a nice liver you have there". I can't help it: I notice every feature of every face I meet. I am painfully aware of my own shortcomings and flaws, and do all I can to disguise and distract from them. Despite my vanity, I have discovered that by being attentive to the outside, I pay great attention to the way people behave as well, and I am also aware of those who have great 'inner' beauty and character. I notice every act of kindness, every sarcastic remark. I see beauty in the biggest and the smallest things, but I guess that's what happens when one is obsessed with something. I only hope others see the same in me.