My Children Gave Me A Superpower
Invisibility- specifically to the male species.
A prime example of my child invisibility cloak happened at local natural grocery store.
There is geeky overly buff bag-boy that wears shirts five sizes too small. He helps us with our groceries Every. Single. Day.
He asks me how I’m doing, plays around with the kids, and bags our loot.
One day, a few weeks ago, Brian offered to watch the kids and I ventured to Whole Foods on my own.
Like always, buff bag-boy was there bagging the contents of my shopping cart.
Bagboy: overly friendly- Why Hello There…
Me: Hi, how have you been?
Bagboy: Great, thanks! I’m going to help you out with your groceries…
Me: wondering why he has never offered when I had two kids with me and actually needed help- Thanks, but I’ve got it.
Bagboy: No, I insist.
on our way out to the car
Bagboy: You have any plans this weekend?
Me: Not Really, what about you?
Bagboy: Taking a little blonde girl out.
Me: Oh, that’s sweet. How long have you been dating?
Bagboy: This is our first date. So, when can I pick you up?
Bagboy: Sorry, was that too forward? I know we just met a few minutes ago.
Me: Um, I know you!
Me: I’m here with my kids almost every day! You bag our groceries every time!
Bagboy: You have kids?!
Me: I’ve known you for at least a year!
Me: Do you have a drug problem?
Bagboy: No! I don’t even drink!
Me: Well, that is something.
Bagboy: I love kids.
Me: I’m married.
I have been back to this grocery store since this incident. The bag boy definitely remembers me with my kids now…and avoids us like the Ebola virus.
I don’t get it.
Men with kids are chick magnets.
Give a female a child and she vanishes into thin air.