My Daughter Got Lost in the Boston Subway

We were camping at a large national park in Victoria, Australia.  My 7-year old son told my husband he was going down the path to the restroom (red flag immediately for me, after the fact--I'm paranoid about public restrooms).  15 minutes later, he hadn't returned and when we searched the restroom, he wasn't there.

I saw the awful headlines in my head as we split up to search the area for him.  Just as I headed to report him missing to a ranger, my husband came around the corner with our son in his arms.  Safe and whole.  I wept as he came to my arms; he had taken a wrong turn back to our campsite and had gotten lost.  

There are no words to describe that feeling of a mother not knowing where her child is.

I like the attitude of your comments page! The world is full of people who are good, if a child is in need they should be trained to find a trusted adult, like a cashier, etc. and get help. If they are in trouble,( someone has grabbed them...)then we teach them what they need to know, breakaways and shout/scream "You're not my Dad!" It get's the attention of all of the good folks who are everywhere! I'll spend the rest my career in Safety education trying to reverse the whole stranger danger concept. I literally cringe when people use it so blithely. Like you have said, most people are good and I love the pinning the note concept! When I wrote my school assemblies into a parent/teacher book I have sought to ingrain that children who have a simple and easy to follow plan can keep themselves safe for a lifetime. Educate and Empower

My parents did something very, very simple. They pinned a note with our hotel information inside a pocket of each child, now we add our mobile phone numbers to this. If a child got lost they were to go to a police officer or staff member and give them the note. We never had to use it, but it was a good back up. 

Most important part it to teach your kids it is ok to approach people and ask for help. In the past few years, I've encountered 3 children obviously in distress who refused to speak to the adults trying to help them. I was able to get them to talk to me by showing them my Teacher ID from work. Stranger danger not only isn't effective in protecting kids (because the people most likely to hurt them are family, priests, boy scout leaders, and other adults they are told to obey) - it actually endangers them by preventing adults from helping them. 

When I take kids in my family to a venue, we discuss what happens if we get separated. They have my number, we id staff members by uniform or location, we set a rallying point (not near an exit). They also know we have a rule - the adults will not leave the venue without kids. So there is no reason for kids to try and go to the car. 

I DID this as a child. My poor mother! Luckily it was at a mall i.e. no train confusion.

I have 2 boys 18 months apart so when one wasn't headed one direction the other one had all ready headed in the opposite direction. My husband and I had to tag team them. Once and I mean only once, did my husband venture out to Walmart with both boys to get diapers while I was at work. I got a frantic call, someone screaming in my ear that "he" was missing! At first I didn't know who the frantic person was until a police officer got on the phone and explained that our 3 year old was missing, my husband was distraught and could I come right away. So I did. They locked down the Walmart, were checking the round clothes racks (little kids like to hide there), the warehouse areas, etc.

My husband is 75% deaf as the result of an accident (he can only hear certain tones and most everything else is not heard or at best muffled). Non of the officers could sign and they needed to focus on the search. They had asked for an ASL officer to come to the scene but I beat him there. So I started asking him questions about what was going on. They were at the checkout. He was holding our youngest and the oldest was on his wrist leash (which are useless if you have a mini-Houdini like we did). It was noisy, the boys were getting fussy, and my husband just wanted to get home. My first clue came when he said our oldest kept tugging at his pants leg (the "I need your attention right now because I have to potty" sign). The look on my husband's face was priceless...we both took off running toward the bathrooms with 3 or 4 police officers on our tail! Sure enough he was in the woman's bathroom, singing at the top of his little lungs (the Barney song never sounded so sweet!), locked in one of the stalls.

So I asked him if he was done..."Mommy what are you doing here, you're 'posed to be at work!" [Flush] He unlocked the stall, strutted over to the sink, climbed up to wash his hands, and then held up his hand for his wrist leash that was still tied to his daddy's belt loop. As I came out of the restroom, the officers were laughing, clapping my husband on the back, and giving the youngest 'high-fives'. One officer got down on his knee..."You gave us quite a scare little man." And he replied..."I'm a big boy. I know where the best-rooms are in Walmart, so I went potty all by myself." Couldn't argue with that.

Moral of the story...double team when you can...cart or leash when you can't...and good luck if you have a mini-Houdini because it didn't work for us.

This is a good reminder to even us city folks. My 4.5 year old is just about ready for the talk about what to do, I think. We will be telling him to get off at the next station and go to the station attendant. If there isn't one, he should wait against the wall so he is away from the trains. We would probably be able to get to him in 10 minutes or less - the stations are sometimes close enough to run to the next one by foot or you may just have to wait until the next train comes and get on it yourself. But at least it's a plan. We teachers use something similar when we go on field trips with big groups of kids.

I got lost at the Calgary Stampede when I was 8. I was watching the horses. So far I haven't lost my own kids. (xing fingers)

I cant wait to see the comments on this. As a new mom, this is one of my biggest fears!