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I love a casual get-together.
- Curry with a bunch of friends in jeans and heavy sweaters.
- A spaghetti dinner for fifteen.
- A BBQ, with kids splashing in the background, or running wild around the garden.
- A cup of tea and a slice of cake.
But every once in a while, it is fun to unearth the wedding china, polish the silver, iron the linen table cloth, and throw an honest to goodness dinner party.
Here are my Top Twelve thoughts on the subject. Happy hosting.
1. Start With A Cocktail
A cocktail sets a promising tone. It breaks the ice. It prompts discussions about who will be driving. It puts everyone on notice: This is going to be a good night.
My favorite is The Sidecar. Sugar the rim of the glass and garnish with a lemon wheel. The key is to have everything you need (appropriate glassware; ice in bucket; a pitcher of said cocktail, pre-mixed for quick serving; a shaker nearby; and garnishes prepared) on a single tray, ready and waiting before your guests arrive. Mixing drinks is an fun, easy job, perfect for delegating to the non-cooking host/hostess, or any willing guest who walks through the door.
If a cocktail sounds like too much work, I've never known anyone to turn down champagne, which is always a festive start to the evening.
2. Two Courses, Not Three
I am a big fan of serving only two courses -- main and dessert -- at the table. Here's why:
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Potent cocktails + flimsy nibbles = inebriation. The idea is help your guests gear up for an entertaining night -- not get snozzled before they reach the table. Rather than hold back the real food, skip the appetizer/starter and pass around a variety of substantial hors d'oeuvres instead. I always prefer "lots of tastes" to a single dish.
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Less time at the table means more opportunity to mingle. If my brief existence as a diplomatic spouse taught me anything, it is that three courses (or, in some cases -- groan -- seven) seated next to the same two dinner partners can feel like an eternity if you get a dud. Not that your hostess would invite, or even know, anyone who was less than fascinating. But having a few good conversations under their belts before they reach the table means that your guests' enjoyment of the night does not rest solely on their luck in the seating stakes.
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Two courses is much lighter duty. I don't know about you, but I simply don't have enough crockery to server three courses without some serious dishwashing in between, and I can think of better ways to enjoy the evening.
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Once the main hits the table, I am practically off kitchen duty. Dessert is always easy and only requires, at most, some last-minute assembly. With the main course taken care of, I can sit down at the table completely relaxed, not worrying about the next course.
3. Seating
This is really my husband's rule, not mine, but since he is such a stickler, it is always applied in our house. Guests are always seated boy/girl/boy/girl, and couples are never, ever seated next to one another. If anyone complains about this, remind them that they already live together, and this way will give them more to talk about in the car on the way home. Besides, if they desperately need to be together, they can always reunite over coffee and after-dinner drinks, which take place away from the table, in the living room. This also gives guests another chance to mingle, if they like, or continue conversations they were enjoying during dessert, one-on-one. The choice is theirs.
4. Music
Have you ever walked in to a restaurant where there was no music playing? It feels empty.
Flat.
Dull.
This is not what you want at your dinner party.
Back in the day, I had mixes for each phase of the evening: disco-y dance stuff for drinks; lively-but-wordless for dinner; and more mellow stuff for coffee -- unless, of course, it was one of those evenings when things just kept spinning faster, in which case the pace of the after-dinner music left the cocktail soundtrack in the dust.
These days, we tend to fire up the iPod and select "Shuffle Songs" -- an all-night roll of the dice, as you are just as likely to hear Bobby Short as you















