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Kate Buckley is the writer behind Eating The Daisies, a lifestyle blog concerned with Food, Books and Family.   She is almost always the last mo...
 
 
 
 

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12 Rules for An Incredible Dinner Party

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Hostess making coffee and chatting with guest

"I want to be the hostess with the mostess!"

I love a casual get-together.

  • Curry with a bunch of friends in jeans and heavy sweaters.
  • A spaghetti dinner for fifteen.
  • A BBQ, with kids splashing in the background, or running wild around the garden.
  • A cup of tea and a slice of cake.

But every once in a while, it is fun to unearth the wedding china, polish the silver, iron the linen table cloth, and throw an honest to goodness dinner party.

Here are my Top Twelve thoughts on the subject. Happy hosting.

1. Start With A Cocktail

A cocktail sets a promising tone. It breaks the ice. It prompts discussions about who will be driving. It puts everyone on notice: This is going to be a good night.

My favorite is The Sidecar. Sugar the rim of the glass and garnish with a lemon wheel. The key is to have everything you need (appropriate glassware; ice in bucket; a pitcher of said cocktail, pre-mixed for quick serving; a shaker nearby; and garnishes prepared) on a single tray, ready and waiting before your guests arrive. Mixing drinks is an fun, easy job, perfect for delegating to the non-cooking host/hostess, or any willing guest who walks through the door.

If a cocktail sounds like too much work, I've never known anyone to turn down champagne, which is always a festive start to the evening.

2. Two Courses, Not Three

I am a big fan of serving only two courses -- main and dessert -- at the table. Here's why:

  • Potent cocktails + flimsy nibbles = inebriation. The idea is help your guests gear up for an entertaining night -- not get snozzled before they reach the table. Rather than hold back the real food, skip the appetizer/starter and pass around a variety of substantial hors d'oeuvres instead. I always prefer "lots of tastes" to a single dish.

  • Less time at the table means more opportunity to mingle. If my brief existence as a diplomatic spouse taught me anything, it is that three courses (or, in some cases -- groan -- seven) seated next to the same two dinner partners can feel like an eternity if you get a dud. Not that your hostess would invite, or even know, anyone who was less than fascinating. But having a few good conversations under their belts before they reach the table means that your guests' enjoyment of the night does not rest solely on their luck in the seating stakes.

  • Two courses is much lighter duty. I don't know about you, but I simply don't have enough crockery to server three courses without some serious dishwashing in between, and I can think of better ways to enjoy the evening.

  • Once the main hits the table, I am practically off kitchen duty. Dessert is always easy and only requires, at most, some last-minute assembly. With the main course taken care of, I can sit down at the table completely relaxed, not worrying about the next course.

3. Seating

This is really my husband's rule, not mine, but since he is such a stickler, it is always applied in our house. Guests are always seated boy/girl/boy/girl, and couples are never, ever seated next to one another. If anyone complains about this, remind them that they already live together, and this way will give them more to talk about in the car on the way home. Besides, if they desperately need to be together, they can always reunite over coffee and after-dinner drinks, which take place away from the table, in the living room. This also gives guests another chance to mingle, if they like, or continue conversations they were enjoying during dessert, one-on-one. The choice is theirs.

4. Music

Have you ever walked in to a restaurant where there was no music playing? It feels empty.

Flat.

Dull.

This is not what you want at your dinner party.

Back in the day, I had mixes for each phase of the evening: disco-y dance stuff for drinks; lively-but-wordless for dinner; and more mellow stuff for coffee -- unless, of course, it was one of those evenings when things just kept spinning faster, in which case the pace of the after-dinner music left the cocktail soundtrack in the dust.

These days, we tend to fire up the iPod and select "Shuffle Songs" -- an all-night roll of the dice, as you are just as likely to hear Bobby Short as you

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KateB 5 pts

Ladies, I can't wait to hear about the results! Happy hosting! Kate

KateB is the author of Eating The Daisies, ( http://eatingthedaisies.blogspot.com ) a lifestyle blog focused on Food, Books, and Family.

Lisa Stone 6 pts

...as the 14th anniversary of his Easter Baby self, I'm going to follow these to the letter. Hadn't thought of breaking out the china but dang it, you are right!

Note to my mother: Thank you for making the dessert so that I can stick to one new thing-itis.

And you have saved me with the cheese tray h'ors d'oevres. Plus hummus for our budding vegan, which he is...

I'll tell you how it goes, okay? Assuming I don't have a typing palsy from his sure-to-be-window-rattling music choices...

Lisa Stone
BlogHer Co-founder
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miguelina 5 pts

Great advice, and I agree -- simple wins!

You've inspired me to start throwing dinner parties again...I took a hiatus after I got pregnant. Now that baby's almost 6 months old, it's time!

If I'm not here ( http://www.blogher.com/blog/miguelina ), I'm at my blog ( http://www.everydaytreats.com/ ) or on Twitter ( http://twitter.com/miguelina ).

Expat Mum 5 pts

I'm having a gathering in a couple of weeks and not only have you got me in the mood, you've reminded me of how much I have to do!!
The only thing I would say as a dinner guest who was recently sandwiched in between two business men who only wanted to talk business, to each other - make sure this doesn't happen. I was bored stiff and very insulted.

400CaloriesOrLess 5 pts

http://400caloriesorless.com

Very nice tips - so many people just don't entertain well - I love the tip about music - so simple to do yet so often forgotten !